As the World Changes
by EmmieElliott
Summary: A touch of destiny brings someone home with a new character. My OCs are mine but I do not own anything. Read and enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

All good things come to end but the real truth was do the bad things stay buried. She always knew since she was sixteen that there would only be one man for her. Family and fate had seem to be pushing them apart. Whether if it was from her own parents whol felt her time with him was just a teenage love affair or his who thought she was just a person to warm the sheets for him, they were doomed from the start. At eighteen she had finally let it separate them.

She always knew that in her family there was a competition between her and her older sister Adele, who seemed to take the correct path towards her future. She dated a Hale and even got into Stanford in early admission. All in all she was correct in her choices and how she followed through with them. She however decided to take a less costly approach and attend UCSD. In three and a half years she graduated with a spot ready for her at one of the best medical schools in the country. Those facts seemed to bump her points in her parents eyes and the pride in their eyes when she had informed them that she had received an offer into the internship program at Chicago Presbyterian meant more than any other.

With the competition in mind she continued to battle her sister. Their relationship was fine but both knew that they were fighting for their parents highest award. Their pride and knowing that their child was the best in their field. All of this pressure seemed to push her one but then one weekend something broke her. A shadow of her past reappeared and she let the darkness in. She let him come to her and be with her again.

One light in that time was something that grew afterward. At twenty eight she was a mother now. Her daughter Hanna was a blonde hair green eyed terror with the intelligence of her mother and the charm if her father. First off her parents were upset with her choice but the continuation of her internship and her ability to juggle the responsibilities meant that she was strong. Although in the end she decided a week after Hanna was born to return home. What shae didn't know was that her past was not always so welcoming.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry about the late update. School took over for a while and then I went out of town for nine days. Don't expect the usual schedule of my other stories. I have about eight weeks left and then if the story is still going we shall see how quickly my mind works. It will all be spontaneous and be by the way my mind decides to work. I do appreciate the love from all of you and keep asking questions because they really force me to make sure the story is correct. Oh and watch out make sure that if you are a writer that your ideas are original. I get that we are writing fanfiction but don't try to take other people's story lines. It is rude and is also wrong. Use your own creative minds. We all have them and will accept any plot line that is published. Be careful. This plot line is mine, please be original.****Love all of you and appreciate all the love that there has been given to me.**

She could never understand how she always managed to smell like baby lotion. No matter how much other lotions or sprays she used her scent always ended up at the end of the day smelling like a baby but in some way she had enjoyed that fact. Working in a hospital all day made everything seem too sterile. There was never a strong odor that was consistent yet her daughter's lotion stayed constant for her. That fact right there made her feel better. It was her calming scent that made her realize that there was still life even though her whole day was spent in the doom and gloom of this grey prison.

"You are done for the day, Dr. Knowles. I hoped you enjoyed your first day!" Margaret Murphy was a kind woman and seemed to be thrilled that Tara had joined their staff. She was happy to have someone of Tara's caliber in her hospital staff and Tara knew that she was somewhat an important commodity to have.

"Thanks I will see you tomorrow." Tara nodded as she headed towards the locker room and changed back to her street clothes.

The drive home was always quiet as she maneuvered her way through the streets of Charming. It was always a place where she wanted to leave but the truth was with Hanna this was her home too. Even though she had been born in Chicago, she had lived there for her whole life however short those three days were. As the car pulled up to the front of the house she knew that her daughter would already be asleep but there was a dread in her. Her parents had been kind enough to hold their questions the night before but tonight could be different. Tonight she would receive the questions she had been avoiding since she had called them seven months earlier with the news. News that meant that they would share blood with SAMCRO.

"Hey baby, how was your first day?" Diane asked as soon as the front door opened with a squeak.

"Really quiet but everyone was very kind." A day in town and she knew that word would get around. She had already told both Jax and Gemma about her arrival and she knew that they would behaving the reunion in a matter of hours.

"How was the adjustment?" Diane asked again as she made her daughter some tea from her already steaming kettle.

"It is not too bad, a lot easier to adjust to the stillness." Before the conversation could continue Hanna started to cry from the other room.

"I'll get her you finish your tea." Tara wanted to argue but it was lost on her tongue as Diane disappeared to the other room and returned within moments.

"It amazes me how much she takes after you." It was a fact that her daughter had taken after her while also inheriting her own green eyes. "Is there any chance that she could be Matt's?"

"No there isn't." Tara replied knowing that her whole family would prefer her to be Matt's than Jax's. Even Tara wished that it would be the truth but it was too obvious. All around it was a fucked up situation she had landed herself in.

"Are you sure?" Her mother pleaded as she continued to glance down at her granddaughter.

"She has his blonde hair." A light tuft of hair was placed on the baby's smooth head that was barely visible until the light hit in the perfect way. "Besides she also seems to have inherited his ability charm all around her."

"That is true she is a very easy baby." Diane commented as she grabbed the bottle off the table and offered it to Hanna.

"Thanks for everything mom. I really appreciate what you are doing for me." Tara broke the silence and Diane said nothing but just smiled back at her mom. "I know having a newborn in the house is hard but I have no words to say how thankful I am."

"I would do anything for you and for Hanna. You both mean the world to me and I am happy you will be here for a while." Her sentiments were sincere and honest as she locked eyes with her own child and saw the pain hidden in them.

"I am exhausted so I think I am going to go to bed." Tara replied as her fatigue set in and the bed was calling for her.

"Alright I guess I will see you tomorrow then. What are you planning on doing?" Diana asked trying to schedule her day for tomorrow.

"I am meeting with Jax and Gemma tomorrow. I don't know how long it will take." Tara replied as she realized how tired she was.

"Okay do you want me to go with you?" She was a little apprehensive about the whole thing but she knew that her daughter could take care of her own.

"No it is fine. Night mom I love you." There were kisses on the cheek exchanged before both of them headed off to bed.

The sun hit her eyes as a small cry was heard from the bassinet next to her bed. Falling asleep when you are exhausted was easy do for Tara. All the late nights studying during college and med school, while also doing those thirty six hour shifts during her internship that made her good at one thing, and that was functioning while being sleep deprived.

Sometimes she believed that Hanna and she were having a competition on who could sleep the longest. Tara often would wake up before her daughter while she slept peacefully beside her. It was strange but she figured it was the worry of a mother that kept her awake. Once the pair was ready for the day ahead of them she carried her down the hall way towards the kitchen where her parents were seated in their typical positions.

"Hey Sam." Tara replied as she looked over at the man who was like a father to her. Her father had been a drunk and basically a dick since she was born. It wasn't until she was fourteen when Diane decided to kick his ass out and divorce him. (Five years ago he passed away. Adele refused to go but Tara did all of the arrangements. That was how she found out that her father had left everything for her in his will. None of it was given to anyone else. Only she and her children could touch it.)

That was probably the hardest time in both of their lives. Tara had noticed how her mom had pulled away from her while she worked to keep the house up and looked for a man to take the place of her father. It was one of the things that pushed her towards Jax. She could never understand it. It was either the way that he wanted to be there for her and also it helped that her mother was completely against the idea of her daughter having anything to do with SAMCRO or its Prince.

"Hey Tara!" Sam smiled back at her. Even though they weren't blood related both of them got along perfectly.

"How is work?" Sam helped run Oswald Construction and was a right hand man to the boss himself. Both of them attended Charming High school at the same time and both were close.

"Busy but that is always good. How about you? Is the hospital up to your standards?" He questioned as he took a sip of his coffee before grabbing Hanna from her arms.

"It's okay. A little slower than my usual pace but I guess that is good though." She still missed it every day. The complete adrenaline rush she would get every single time she changed into her scrubs.

"I am sure there will be some type of excitement especially with this being SAMCRO's home base and all." He stated as he made funny faces at Hanna before giving her back to Tara once she was done with her own cup.

"I am going to go but I will see you later for dinner." He nodded as her mother said her own goodbyes from the sink where she was washing plates from last night.

She got in her dad's old cutlass, one that had been gifted to her after his death almost five years ago. A call came one night while she was in Chicago that her father's only possessions were hers now and that they would be at his house until she decided what to do with them.

Driving the streets of Charming was strange for her. In the end she reached her destination. Gemma's house had changed from when she would visit during high school. It went from typical Charming house to a palace fit for a queen and of course her newly announced king. They had both agreed that this would be the best place to have Jax meet Hanna for the first time. It was more intimate and also far away from the Clubhouse.

"Are you ready for this?" She asked the infant as she received only a small gurgle as a reply. "Yeah me too."

Walking up the steps she made her way to the door and knocked. The seconds of silent made her stop as she realized what was going on. What would happen once those doors open?

"Doc." Gemma stated she stared down at the woman who broke her son's heart before looking even further towards the carrier that had her granddaughter in it. "Come on in Jax is in the living room."

"Thanks." Tara replied as she stepped into the house as Hanna let out a few cooing sounds telling everyone around her that she was still present and that they should be paying attention to her. Tara looked down to make sure that the baby was still secure before looking back up stopping dead in her tracks.

"Hey." He was nervous and he did his usual habit of placing his hands in his front pocket. She was a little surprised to see the bad ass biker so scared at the fact that there was an infant in the room.

"Hi." Tara smiled as she carefully placed the carrier on the coffee table while looking down at Hanna who was making silly faces as she started to realize attention was on her. "Hanna, meet your daddy. Jax this is Hanna Gemma Diane Teller."

"What?" Gemma paused as she looked at the other woman who was standing there silent.

"I figured that she deserved to have both of her grandmother's names." It also didn't help that she was still a little drugged up and her mother had told her to make them both their middle name.

"Wow well then I am honored." Gemma replied before catching the look her son was giving his daughter. His eyes told her everything she needed to know. She was already getting him wrapped around her finger.

"Do you want to hold her?" Tara asked Jax as he seemed a little hesitant but did nothing but smile and shook his head vigorously. "Hanna please don't cry we don't want you to scare daddy."

With help and a little direction the father and daughter pair was contently looking at each other as if they were in a deep conversation. His hands were steady as he supported Hanna's head and she also kept calm as her ear pressed against his chest most likely calmed by the rhythmic sound.

"She's so tiny." That was all he could say as he watched her eyes close out of fatigue. "How was the birth? Is everything alright with her?"

"She is doing fine. Her heart was a little weak at the beginning but all of her test as of late were clear. They will probably be very cautious when scanning but other than that she will most likely be just like you." Gemma and he released the breathe both of them had been holding. Neither wanted to go through what Tommy went through.

"How was the birth?" Gemma asked curious to know how the woman dealt with the whole procedure.

"Really easy actually. It only lasted about twelve hours and my mom kept saying that I was almost too calm." Tara answered as she remembered the chaos that had ensued around her that day but yet nothing took her focus away.

"Good to hear." Gemma commented before taking hold of Hanna and looking down at her with a love she had only seen on the older woman give to two people. "You did good darling."

"Thanks." For the first time since coming home she felt happy to be back. There was just one problem. Shocking her, another woman entered the room.

"Sorry about coming by unannounced but I was wondering if you wanted to go to my doctor's office." Tara glanced over at the woman and saw a women who seemed to be underweight and also a little tweaky. "This must be Hanna."

"Wendy I thought you were going out of town?" Jax seemed pissed as he took Hanna back in his arms to shield her away from Wendy.

"I was but then my OB got an opening so I decided to take it." Wendy replied as she tried to take a look at the baby her husband had conceived while they were on their break.

"I am sorry, I am Tara Knowles." Tara felt awkward and assumed it would be better to introduce my self now.

"I know who you are. I am Wendy Case, I am Jax's wife." She replied as she lightly touch her stomach with a smile Tara knew. It was a smile of an expectant mother. "Looks like Hanna is going to be having a sibling."


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is another one! Sorry for the late update but only a few more weeks until I am done with school and can focus on writing again. Hope you enjoy!**

Honestly, Tara couldn't believe what she was hearing. The father of her child was married and having a baby. Tara almost couldn't handle it anymore. As she kept looking over at Wendy she felt anger seep into her skin.

"Well it is nice to me meet you but Hanna and I have to head out. I promised my parents we would have dinner with them." Tara spoke as she took Hanna out of Jax's arms and placed her in the carrier.

"Oh sweetheart you don't have to go. I was already making dinner." Gemma was giving her a pitiful look as she pulled the blanket over the top to block the sun from Hanna's sensitive skin.

"Oh no it is fine. I am sure you both want to go to the doctors appointment. It is exciting to go to the first one." She out right lied and knew that everyone knew that she was. Tara hated her first appointment. She was alone and scared the entire time but she wouldn't allow herself to be a reason why he did not go to his own wife's appointment. In her heart she wanted to make sure that no other of Jax's children miss out on his involvement. It was her greatest mistake. "I will see you both later."

And she was gone. Nothing could stop her as she carefully but quickly placed Hanna into the back seat and got in her own seat as Jax came running out of the front door. He was too late however because Tara made sure to back out of the driveway before he could get anywhere near her.

"What's wrong with her? It's not like I am the one who slept with someone married." Wendy state as she approached him from the house as he looked down the street.

"Next time call before you stop by." Jax warned as he went back inside before leaving Wendy alone. "I can't go to the doctors appointment. I have to work."

"Clay won't give you it off?" She asked as she followed him back in.

"The only reason I got it off was to meet Hanna." Jax declared as he walked back out with her still following her on his heels. She couldn't even comment before he got on his bike without another moment of thought. "Make sure to send me the doctor bills."

He told her before he started his engine and headed off down the street. This was different. When he found out about Hanna and the pregnancy he was happy to think that Tara and he would have a child together. He knew that it would take time to convince her to come home. She was so broken the night she was conceived. It was love that brought Hanna to the world. The love that he and Tara had. Tara needed him to give her the love she had lost and Jax needed to be reminded what it was like to feel. The two of them thought that would be the last time they would see each other but four months later he got the call. The call that made him smile a genuine smile for the first time in a long time. A girl with her dark green eyes and his light blonde hair. Someone who was the perfect combination of both parents. That was something that did not disappoint. As he gazed at her face he immediately knew what she had inherited what from who. He was going to make sure that he was apart of her life but with Wendy he couldn't imagine dealing with her for another eighteen years.

**Seven Months Later**

"Mama!" A shriek was heard in the hospital as Hanna Teller came out of the elevator in her grandmother's arms. She had been working at St. Thomas for a little less than eight months and was finally relaxing in her routine. Her happiness was stunted however when she was forced to see Wendy walk in with that belly for her appointment. It hurt but it was starting to sting less with time.

"Hanna Gemma Diane Teller!" Tara Knowles spoke in a cool but harsh tone as she looked at the smiling baby giggling as she hid her face in Gemma's hair.  
"Mommy!" The little girl shrieked again broader flinging herself in her mothers arms escaping the grasp of Gemma.

"Did you have fun with Grandma?" Gemma had taken over the role as baby sitter ever since Tara moved back to Charming. It was a lot cheaper for her and also meant that she could drop off and pick up at any time which was favorable considering the crazy hours both Jax and she had.

"She is a handful and now that she is close to walking it is only going to get worse." Gemma replied as she fixed her hair over her shoulder away from the grasping hands of the eight month old. Before Tara could reply a handsome looking doctor came out of nowhere and asked for a minute with Tara. It was quick and before long he was leaving.

"I will see you later Dr. Knowles." The other Doctor replied as he nodded towards Gemma with a kind smile before he headed off in a different direction. Gemma gave him a glare as he passed for the touch he placed on Tara's shoulder. It was innocent but there was something protective about the idea that Jax would not be marrying Tara once they got over their shit and Wendy gave up the custody of that baby. Tara would be a better mother for her grandson and already had experience on being alone with a baby. She could hold down the home life so Jax could focus on the club.

"Who is he?" She asked as she glanced back at Tara.

"Coworker, he is the new cardiothoracic surgeon." With Tara being a neonatal surgeon and him being a cardiothorastic surgeon there was a chance that they would be working together and also he had been kind to her on his first day. He seemed to be a good guy and also seemed to be friendly with Tara.

"He is cute. Are you thinking about getting back on the market?" Gemma had always figured that the two of them would get back together but with Wendy carrying her grandson she had to make sure that she stayed put. She loved Hanna but a grandson was something different. Hanna would be able to do anything she wanted. She had obviously inherited her mothers intelligence and Jax's calculating mind but with her grandson meant the heir to the throne that she helped create. That was something special and she needed to make sure that the crank whore stayed and once she gave birth, that meant she would be gone and the doors would be open for Jax and Tara.

"It's a little hard with eight month old to think of anything but her." Tara replied as she played with Hanna's hand that was trying to reach a piece of her hair that had fallen from her bun.

"I can always watch her for you if you want I get out." Gemma offered as she tried to act casual about the offer.

"I don't think I am ready for that." She stated before realizing that she needed to make rounds again. She kissed Hanna before handing her back to Gemma. " I have to go but I will see you later. I should stop by TM later to get her?"

"Yeah Jax wants to spend some time with her." Tara only nodded as she headed off to join rounds with Dr. Nameed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you enjoy. I want to help my new beta elbeewoods for helping me out with this story. Review and tell me what you think**!

Finishing up at the hospital Tara was excited to go home and spend some time with her daughter. One more day and then she was taking three days of vacation time. She wanted to take time and enjoy being with Hanna.

"You have a visitor Dr. Knowles." A nurse declared as she signaled for the Doctor to follow her.

"Who is it?" Tara asked as she started behind the woman trying to keep up with her pace.

"Some woman, she looks like she is pretty messed up. She keeps saying that you guys are family." The nurse replied as they walked back through the waiting rooms to the nurse's station. Just as Tara reached the stand there she was. Wendy was looking disheveled and possibly tweaking out on something that obviously wasn't good for the baby.

"Wendy what's going on?" Tara asked concerned because of the obvious lack of weight on her stomach for someone who was almost eight months pregnant was scaring her.

"I need to talk to Jax but he hasn't been picking up his phone." Wendy announced as her voice was shaking. Tara knew about Wendy's past drug problems. Gemma had talked with Tara a few times about Wendy's problems but in truth she never thought that Wendy would hit rock bottom while pregnant.

"Yeah I think he had to change his prepaid. I don't have it on me but I am sure if you call Gemma then she will probably give you the number." Tara replied not knowing whether there was a reason why Jax had changed his phone number almost a month ago.

"He called the house a few times but I didn't pick up. I just need some cash right now to get some food." Wendy's hands shook as she kept looking around the sterile room instead of facing the honest green ones that Tara owned.

"How much do you need? I can get you something if you want." Tara was genuinely worried about her health.

"No I don't want your charity." Wendy snapped back as she realized the doctor wasn't going to get her anywhere but suddenly her anger stopped as a sharp pain shot across her stomach and she yelped in pain.

"Why don't you come with me? We can get you checked out and I will call Jax for you." Tara offered as she neared Wendy similar to a way a person would approach a skittish animal. Slowly and ready to react in case it decided to snap back.

"No I want to call him." Wendy replied quickly as she let Tara lead her toward an empty room. "I will go get a doctor."

"Can you stay?" Wendy asked before looking at Tara afraid that the other woman would give her the all knowingly sympathy look but Wendy was pleasantly surprised at an understanding look.

"I can." Tara's words made her feel calm as Tara disappeared for a moment and then returned with an OB who was in his mid-fifties and looked to be a very serious type of person.

"Hello Ms. Case. Dr. Knowles told me that you were having a bit of pain in your stomach. Let's check the baby out." He gave Wendy a forced smile before turning on the ultrasound machine and putting the gel on her stomach. "Sorry but I am sure you are not used to the cold."

The machine came to life but before they could continue Wendy stood up suddenly and left the room in a hurry of hair and belly. "I am sorry but I can't do this," was all Wendy said before leaving the room scrapping the gel off her stomach before covering it with her t-shirt.

"I am sorry Doctor." Tara apologized to her superior as he gave her a look that Tara couldn't understand. Honestly, Tara barely knew the doctor, but he was the only person on staff with the experience. Tara's time was spent with children after their birth. She enjoyed her time in delivery during her intern rotation but never felt that she could continue that as a career. Having Hanna made her realize how much she enjoyed dealing with small children. Hanna had been as healthy as a baby could be. She was large but not overly big. She was the perfect baby in Tara's eyes.

"From my experience she probably doesn't want the help. It was a nice try on your part however." In a supportive gesture he placed his hand on Tara's shoulder and walked out of the room.

Without another thought Tara decided that she wanted to go home. Wendy's issues weren't hers but Tara did plan on telling Jax about the run in.

Pulling up to Teller-Morrow was a part of her daily routine with Gemma being the primary babysitter. Tara's mother and Sam were busy traveling a lot lately and being so far outside of town (how her mother liked it) was too inconvenient for Tara so she moved into her dad's place. He had left it to Tara in his will and that also meant the beautiful Cutlass that had been revamped by the mechanics at T.M. was hers too. Usually during the day Gemma kept a nanny for Hanna but Gemma had more flexible hours than Tara so she usually was the one to have Hanna come back to work with her for the last hours of Tara's shift.

"Hey Tara!" Kip, or Half Sack, as everyone called him called from across the parking with a smile on his face and a large wave. All the guys knew the history with Jax and herself. She was given a lot of respect from the club and had even given a few patch jobs when needed.

"Hi." Tara smiled back before seeing that the office was closed. If the baby was in there with all of that smoke she would blow a gasket. "Is Gemma here?"

"No she went out with Hanna." Half Sack replied as he came a little closer to avoid screaming.

"Oh okay is Jax here?" Tara asked again knowing he would have the answer.

"Yeah he is in his room." Tara smiled thanks and walked into the clubhouse that held some interesting stories. At the beginning of their relationship, Tara had moved in with her dad, to get away from both her mother and also help out with his issues. It was only for a year but during the stay she wasn't given a curfew which made for fun times. This was actually the place where Tara lost her virginity all those years ago. The same room Jax was in now.

For the clubhouse standards no one was actually in. Everyone seemed pretty out of it either from too much weed which Tara could smell or a long day of being an outlaw. Without so much as a word Tara walked right passed them and into the back. Knocking on the door, Tara hesitate waiting for Jax to answer. They hadn't really talked since their last meeting. She was too busy being a doctor and mom and Jax had his own problems. Both of them knew the feelings were still there. They had been there the night Jax showed up in Chicago. The random crossing of paths at such a vulnerable time for them was everything Tara would need to get her out of her funk. It was fate and Tara was sure of it. It was why she came home so soon after having the baby.

"Come in." Jax yelled back giving Tara the permission she needed.

"Hey." Tara said calmly as she entered the smoke filled room. It smelled like booze and weed and for some reason Tara craved it. Tara figured since she had recently moved Hanna over to the bottle and solid foods that her body craved everything she had been denying it for the past year and a half.

"Hey what are you doing here?" Jax seemed confused at her presence.

"I came to pick up Hanna but your mom is not here." Tara didn't wait and stepped into the room while Jax took a seat on the bed finishing up the joint he had been working on.

"She didn't call you?" Jax asked putting the joint to his lips taking a moment to question before lighting it. "She said that she was going to take Hanna for the night to give you a break."

"No but I guess I have the night off." Tara replied as she felt the air heavy with smoke. "Guess who got a visitor at the hospital today?"

"Who?" He asked giving in to her little game as he smiled taking another inhale of smoke.

"Wendy." Tara replied motioning for him to give her the light.

"When did you start smoking? And why did Wendy stop by?" Jax asked giving her an inquisitive look.

"Hanna is officially on the bottle and I can finally do something fun. Wendy however wanted to get a hold of you." Tara replied as he finally relented and she put the paper to her lips and felt the smoke fill her lungs.

"What was so urgent?" Jax replied sarcastically as he gave her a look that said he felt bad for the disruption.

"She said something about cash but I did convince her to see a doctor but she bolted before he could really do anything. She looked bad though." She watched as his head tilted back against the head board.

"Aww shit." He covered his face for a moment not knowing how else to deal with this pressure. "What do I do?"

"My suggestion is to call her tomorrow and see what's going on." Tara offered as she started to relax more so she took a seat next to him against the headboard and started to stretch her body. "God it feels good to relax."

"When was the last time you had a break?" He asked not sure how long it had been since he had seen her really get one day off from life.

"Two days before my water broke." Tara replied as she passed the heated paper over and closed her eyes for a second.

"That is a while." Jax commented as he looked up at the picture on his dresser mirror. His favorite would always be the one with Tara on the back his bike. The best place that she had ever been in his world beside his bed.

"It was also the day I called you about her." Tara whispered as she also looked around the room that held do much of her past.

"Why did you wait so long?" He asked a little softer feeling the need to whisper at the intimacy of the question.

"Honestly I felt that you wouldn't want to be apart of her life. When you left that weekend I figure you didn't wa t me to come after you so I stayed. Then I got busy with work and let myself fall into that without having a second thought of anything but when I finally went on leave I realized that you deserved to know. Hearing the excitement in your voice was kind of the reason I came back so quickly." Her breath was released in a sense of relief. She really felt that they were making things better for themselves and for their family.

"When was the last time you drank?" He changed the subject as soon as he felt the emotions arise so he asked the question even though he knew the answe. Jax knew Tara would never risk her pregnancy but figured she would have had one drink since popping the kid out.

"A week before I found out I was pregnant." And it had been the worst hangover of her life. It had mixed together with morning sickness to put her on her back for a whole day trying to recover.

"What about sex?" Jax asked again curious to know if Tara was dating or seeing anyone.

"When Hanna was conceived." Jax had been taking a sip of his beer when he nearly choked on it in complete shock. He had barely gone a week without it and she had gone almost a year and half. "It wasn't too bad. However it did suck when my hormones were flying all over the place though."

"Shit…" Is the only thing Jax could mutter as he looked over at Tara with a small smirk on his face.

"Jax?" Tara asked as she felt her mind completely relax under the new feeling of the opiates running through her blood. "Do you ever think about getting back together?"

"All the time." Jax replied as they both were eye to eye before closing the distance between each other.

For a moment it was pure bliss. And it continued as they repeated something that came very natural to both of them. It was something that put them at ease with each other. They were never nervous around each other. Nothing had changed in the past months or years they had been apart. Tara did make sure that they wore protection that night. She did not want to have another surprise. Tara didn't think Jax could cope with having so many kids so close together.


	5. Chapter 5

**This was a chapter I am really proud of. I spent a lot of time and changed a few things. It was so nice to change some of the things and create different relationships. Enjoy and review.**

Jax and Tara were both silent as they crept out of the clubhouse at a ridiculous hour. Tara had said something about getting a few more hours of sleep before picking Hanna up from Gemma while Jax knew that he needed to do some club business before dealing with Wendy. Both of them parted with a kind kiss and a promise of another meeting. This time she figured they would discuss a few more things before making any attempt at continuing what was started hours earlier.

Passing out when her head hit her pillow Tara felt herself find happiness inside her that nothing could explain. She knew that when Jax and she had met up by coincidence in Chicago that all of it meant a short coupling. It wasn't supposed to last. Nothing should have come about. He left and she was back to her life again. A lonely life but still a place where he family and past weren't a factor yet like many things in life it changed in an instant. Hanna brought something to her life so she decided Charming would always be her home. A place where she could escape the world and find solstice from the shit storm that was real life.

A knock on the door instantly interrupt her thoughts as she woke up to Gemma at her door. "Sorry to wake you but I have to get to the garage."

"It's okay I needed to get up anyway." Tara replied as she grabbed her daughter with a large smile on her face. "How was she?"

"Perfect she was a little fussy this morning. I think she is cutting a couple of new teeth but a little bit of rum on the gums made her conk out." Gemma supplied as she pushed back the small tufts of blonde that had grown in over the months on the baby's soft head with a pleased smile on her face.

"I bet that rum didn't go to waste." Tara said as she set Hanna down in her play pen.

"Clay and I may have enjoyed a bit of a drink after but that is another story." Gemma replied with a smile as she gave Tara a kiss on the cheek before heading off. "I have to go check up on Wendy for Jax."

"Why doesn't he?" Tara asked not sure why he hadn't taken her advice and gone to see Wendy.

"The warehouse blew up." That was all she could say. From past experiences she knew that Tara would put two and two together so she figured it was better to give information up front. "The boys are dealing with a lot of shit right now."

"Alright well I will let you go. I am on call so I might call you to pick Hanna up at daycare in case I get called in and it's a late one." Gemma nodded but didn't reply as she shuffled out of the door leaving Tara with silence that was only filled thirty minutes later with a mixture of baby giggles and the shrill of her pager.

Going into the operating room she was met with Dr. Nameed who seemed to be standing by scrubbed and ready for a surgery. "Get washed up we have a preemie and it looks bad."

Tara only nodded as she went straight to the sink and washed any particle of bacteria off of her skin before she walked into the operating room. "What's the diagnosis?"

"Thirty year old Preemie 10 weeks early. The mom has been doping up for a while now. Crank." Dr. Nameed stated as he looked over where the surgical OBGYN worked to get the baby out.

"What do we know about the baby?" Tara asked wanting to realize what they were working with.

"Baby was in distress but showed signs of heart weakness and possible deformation of internal organs." Dr. Nameed expressed as he continued to supervise as the surgeon announces the arrival of the little boy. Just then Tara saw the face of the mother.

"Wendy..." Tara train of thought immediately changed as she looked up and saw a face of Jax's son.

"We need to get the baby into an incubator immediately. Dr. Nameed stated as the nurses and other doctors swarmed the infant ready for anything Dr. Nameed requested.

What felt like a moment passed before Dr. Nameed determined the issues with the baby. He rattled off the diagnosis before stating that tomorrow if Abel was strong enough, they would perform the surgery. It was all hectic and different doctors came by to check with the diagnosis and confirm that his surgical plan was correct.

Aaron Ramsey was one of them. He immediately zoned in on Tara and saw the connection she had with the baby. Her eyes never left him as people continued to enter and exit. Being the cardiac surgeon, he gave Dr. Nameed important tips.

"Are you okay?" His voice was low as if he was fearful of her reaction.

"Yes of course. I have to go check up on the mother." Tara spoke up as she realized that this baby was not hers and she didn't have the authority to decide anything on him. She was still a student and that meant she would only be assisting on the surgery. "I have to go check up on the mother."

"I am here if you want to talk." Aaron offered but it was lost as she left the room without hearing it.

"Dr. Knowles I need to talk to you." Dr. Nameed stated as he crossed her in the hallway. "I know the baby is a part of my daughter's family. Will you be alright to be a part of the team or should I request someone else?"

"I will be fine to operate." She didn't even hesitate in her answer. If she was to do one thing in her life it would to be save that little boy's life. Everyone had bailed on him. She had finally convinced Jax to give a shit about him and Tara knew she had to give him a chance to meet his son. To hold that baby for the first time just like the first time he held Hanna.

"Okay can you check up on the mother for me? I want you to talk to the family and explain the situation. They will most likely feel better with someone they knew." There was no need to answer the question. She only nodded and headed toward Wendy's room where nurses were settling her in while she was still unconscious.

"How are her vitals?" She asked as soon as she was in looking over the chart.

"Stable but the doctors decided they are going to observe for a couple of days to see if they need to sedate her for a few days to make it easier for her." A nurse explained as she fixed another bag of fluid into her IV but her expression changed as she looked out of the glass door. "Family is here."

"I'll be back." She said as she opened the door and headed in to the hallway.

Seeing his expression as she explained the problems with his son broke her heart. He was such a good father to Hanna and she couldn't imagine losing his son so early in age. "I'm so sorry Jax. Come with me and I will take you to see him."

"You don't have to do this Tara. I get if this is too much for you." Jax stated as he came close to her so this could be a private conversation between the two other without the wide ears of his family.

"I asked to be a part of this. He is Hanna's brother just as much as he is your son. I want to do everything I can to make sure both of you get to have him in your lives." Her voice was quiet but powerful.

"His name is Abel. I have to go do something. Take mom back." Tara knew immediately what he was going to go. The doctors had mentioned something about the Hairy Dog being the newest place to score. He was going to go teach them a lesson.

"Come on sweetheart why don't you take me to go see my grandson." Gemma broke her from her own thoughts as she wrapped her arm around her. "Is Hanna in daycare?"

"Yes I should be able to pick her up in a few hours but I am going to need you to pick her up tomorrow. She can stay at the hospital with you but if Abel can handle the surgery then it will be a long day for both of us." Tara said as she let her shoulders sag out of fatigue. Her body was fine but mentally she was spent.

"How much of your shift do you have left?" Gemma asked as they walked through another hallway.

"Actually there is nothing more we can do so I can leave now but I need to show you to the room." She explained as she gave the other woman a sad smile.

"Go home once we get there but bring Hanna here. I want her to meet her brother just in case something happens." Tara didn't argue as she simply nodded and turned the corner where there was an incubation chamber and Abel.

The rest of the night was calm as it could be. Hanna had gone down at around seven but woke up a few hours later ready for her next meal. Night time was her favorite time with her daughter. It was calm and Hanna always seemed so aware of her surroundings. Just as she was waiting for the bottle to warm, a knock on the front door shook her from any more thoughts.

"Hey…" Jax's quiet voice entered her ears as the sight of his frame leaned against the door frame looking disheveled and upset.

"Hi." She replied as she gave him a smile before realizing why he was here. "I was just about to feed her. Do you want to do it?"

"Yeah I think I need that." Jax replied as Tara and he did a dance so he could cross the threshold.

"She is in her room. Why don't you go get her and I will finish the bottle?" He said nothing as he disappeared down the hall but remerged seconds later with a smiling Hanna in his arms. She had her hands wrapped in his kutte as she lightly but the collar.

"Someone is hungry." She commented as she handed him the bottle while taking a seat on the couch and throwing a towel over his shoulder. His eyes didn't leave Hanna's face as he held the bottle for her to have her feast. "I know you are probably sick of people asking you this but how are you doing?"

"I don't even know. I saw Wendy and she looked so screwed up and I can't help but think that if I hadn't bailed her then she would have stayed clean." His sigh was powerful as he leaned forward and placed his lips on top of her forehead.

"All you can do is to be there for him now." Tara commented as she watched Hanna finish her bottle.

"It's different now." His voice broke as he continued to stare at the green eyes of his daughter. "Hanna has you but if anything happens to me who take Abel. Wendy can't take care of a kid."

"What about your mom?" Tara replied as she placed her hand on his knee.

"With the way she works I bet she won't be around to take care of him forever." In that moment she saw what he wanted. He needed to know that if this life took him away that someone else would be there to take care of his kid.

"He has me." His neck whipped to look at her with wide eyes as his mind processed what she just said. "I am serious."

"I can't ask you to do that." He knew how badly she was hurt by the whole Wendy situation and was surprised that she was willing to do this for her.

"I am offering besides he is a part of my family no matter what. Hanna deserves to know her little brother." She observed as Hanna let out a slight burp that had the two of them smiling.

"Thank you." It was simple but it was all she needed to hear.

"Why don't you crash here tonight?" She said as she stood up and started for the year. "I will even let you be the one that takes care of her in the morning."

"Oh let me. I feel so honored." His sarcasm was not missed as he stood with Hanna's head on his shoulder as she started to drift off to sleep.

"You should." She glanced over her shoulder before heading into her room while Jax placed the baby into her crib and kissed her good night. He turned and headed off to Tara's bedroom to say good night before crashing on the couch but stopped in his tracks when he saw Tara standing there in only a pair of black panties and black tank top.

"You okay?" Tara asked as she pulled the covers up and climbed underneath them. "Are you coming to bed?"

"Yeah..." Was all he could say as he started to disrobe until he was in nothing but a pair of boxers.

Both of them sat there for a few moments lost in their own thoughts. Neither really knew what to do. The entirety of Hanna's life was spent with Tara avoiding Jax because she knew he was still married and it wasn't her choice whether he wanted to be with her. Jax however spent that time feeling guilty about the idea that he went back to Wendy.

When he visited Tara in Chicago he figured that she would have been with her fiancé but all of those thoughts got thrown out of the window when he saw the sadness in her eyes as soon as she opened the door. There was still a ring on her finger but he could tell that she was broken and that if he wasn't her comforting her then that asshole must of have been the culprit. She never told him what happened. He felt bad however when they separated the next morning because he knew he was leaving to go fulfill a promise to Wendy. He looked at her left hand and there it was. A ring that he could never afford on the hand where his wife still had her own ring symbolizing his commitment. All of was too much so he left.

Thinking back on it he understood how idiotic it was to think that he owed her anything. It was one of that he bailed. Abel wasn't the mistake but his mother should have been table. He should have been given what Hanna was. The chance to have a great person in his to counteract the violence that Jax's would.

"What happened with that Matt guy? Why did you break up?" She lifted her head almost immediately from it place above his heart.

"Why do you want to know?" Her voiced projected a bit of a defensive manner but he knew it was in a protective sense.

"When we got together, you seemed so broken. I just want to know what the guy did to you." She instinctively pulled away for a brief moment. It had always been her coping mechanism when dealing with this problem

"He cheated on me." Tara replied as she moved so she was now lying in a pillow mirroring Jax's position of staring at the ceiling. "He worked for ATF. I didn't really know it but he was pretty dirty. He was helping a few of the gangs around the streets keep their territory. I walked in on him and some higher up, a woman, who was in on his deals. Apparently they had been doing it for a few weeks while I was working my thirty six hour shifts at hospital. It happened about a week before you came into town."

"I still love you. You know that right?" He turned his head and looked at her expression. "I never stopped."

"Neither did I." Tara said looking back over at those blue eyes she had craved while away. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was so happy because it was yours. Hanna was yours. Then the worst thought in my mind came to the forefront. I was relieved that I had a miscarriage a few months before. How could a woman be relieved at that fact. I had lost a baby but was glad because it meant I could have it with a man I knew loved me. Even though we weren't together, I always knew you were the love of my life. There would be this special place for you but I want to know is there any chance of us actually being together?"

"That is all I ever wanted." Jax was serious as he slowly leaned forward and took her lips between his own. It was a great night for both of them.

Halfway through the surgery she could tell that Dr. Nameed was nervous about his vitals. His blood pressure was low and there was strain to his heart. The hole needed to be fixed and she needed to get Aaron in the room to be ready in case anything happened. So he quickly started to give orders saying, "Knowles go find Dr. Ramsey and then tell the family we are starting the second surgery."

"Okay." Throwing off her mask and gloves she quickly found a nurse to page Aaron while heading out to the waiting room where she knew Gemma would be waiting. If anyone could get ahold of Jax at the moment she was her best bet.

"What is going on, is he okay?" Her nerves hit her as she saw the worry on Gemma's face as she looked at Tara.

"His stomach surgery was perfect but we need to start on his heart. His body can only take so much." Tara paused looking between LuAnn who was standing there as if she didn't know what to do and Gemma putting front on. "Dr. Nameed wants to do the heart surgery now."

"What do you think?" Tara was taken aback with the question.

"It's his best decision. We have the cardio thoracic surgeon in the room to make sure that everything is perfect. He is in the best hands." Gemma immediately relaxed at her words. "I have to get back but I will be out when it is over."

"Wait, I need to ask you something." Gemma spoke up just as Tara turned her back.

"Okay." Tara replied as she started walking with the Gemma following.

"I need you to be there for Jax. I know we have been a little distracted with the baby but Jax needs you. That junkie can't take care of that baby. He is going to need both of us right now." Her words struck Tara deep within the depths of her heart. "He is lucky that Hanna has a great mom, I just need to know that so does Abel."

"Of course I will be there." Tara could barely get the words out before nodded and headed off towards the operation room with tears threatening to fall over.

Hours passed as Abel's heart stopped once and they had to restart it. She was shocked because she didn't freeze. When she was in surgery her mind was goal oriented. Nothing could make her panic but that little boy on the table had made her panic. Hearing the sounds of the electricity strike his heart made her inwardly cringe and like some miracle he was back. He was stable and for right now that was an accomplishment.

She made her way towards Wendy's hospital room. Tara knew that most people were pissed off at her. Gemma had called her a few choice words during her time back in town. There was no way that Gemma would forgive this woman easily. Wendy was now an enemy of Gemma and that was one place no one ever wanted to find themselves.

Gemma surprisingly was exiting Wendy's room with a please smile on her face. She couldn't even control the words before she asked, "What did you say?"

"Nothing just the truth." That smile didn't wipe off her face while she walked passed her.

Sobs were loud as she entered the room and saw a broken woman. Wendy seemed so sad as she wailed with a closed bible on her tray.

"Wendy?" Her voice was calm and steady as she approached her. Tara understood how her body was doing. Being a mother and also knowing what meth could do to one's body Wendy was a mess. The hormones in her body were surging at full force and this woman was a ticking time bomb.

"Go away!" Her scream was powerful as her body shook with sobs.

"I just wanted to tell you that Abel is okay. He is going to make it." Tara took a step forward.

"Everyone hates me. My son almost died and the worst part is everyone is comparing me to you!" She pointed at Tara with so much hate in her voice. "The perfect doctor who has the perfect baby while mine almost died. And it fully my fault. Jax hasn't even seen the baby yet because he hates me. He wished you were Abel's mother."

"Wendy you have to stop. Jax doesn't hate you." More sobs escaped her mouth as tears dropped from her eyes. "You can't let people's opinions affect you. Did you know that Gemma hated me while I was dating Jax?"

"What are you talking about? Gemma loves you." Wendy was finally able to hold back tears as her breath started to calm and she realized what Tara was saying.

"Yeah she did. It's one of the reasons I left. The only thing that brought us together was Hanna. Knowing that I would be in her son's life meant that she couldn't make me leave changed it." Tara explained as she stuffed her hands in her pockets.

"I am going to rehab. To show them that I can be clean." Her declaration was admirable but Tara knew statistics. She had to learn them for school. People only became clean when they wanted to.

"Let me give you some advice. If you want to go to rehab to change your life for the good, then do it but make sure you aren't doing it for others." Tara took a pause taking in the softening of Wendy's features. "Don't let others decide for you. Do it for yourself because it means it will actually last."

No other words were said. Tara immediately left but as she closed the door she saw Wendy throw something in the trash.


	6. Chapter 6

I am Back! I am so happy, I am officially done with school for two and a half months. I am off and will hopefully update a lot quick from now on. This is a very important chapter for the story. I give a lot of information to you that will help the storyline progress. Enjoy and review!

The next day Tara was happy to see that the clock was slowly approaching the end of her shift. She would officially be done with her thirty six hour shift and that also meant that she could go home and sleep peacefully for the first time in forty eight hours. Lucky for her the neonatal unit was quiet so she ended up taking a nap in Abel's incubation chamber, able to catch a few hours of sleep but she was quickly awoken by the opening of the door.

"Dr. Knowles?" A nurse came in with a quiet tone making sure not to scare her. "I need you to sign off on a few things before you head out to rounds."

"Yeah, let me see." Tara held out her hand and opened the file looking over the different test results that have been processed overnight looking in at Abel's vitals.

"It looks good. I have to go do rounds but …" Just as she was about to finish her thought she was distracted by Jax who stood peering into the room through the window. "I'll be back before I head out."

"Okay Doctor." The nurse nodded as she grabbed a hold of the file as Tara made her way to the door.

"Hey." Jax smiled as he looked back at the baby who still seemed so small to him but there were differences. "He's moving around a lot more."

"Yeah all his vitals are up." Jax and Tara both continued speak as Jax played the role of concerned parent and Tara acted as if he was just another patient's father. "But it will be a few months before he will be released."

"At least it gives my mom time to set up the house. She is already planning Hanna's room." Jax revealed as he gave Tara a kind smile. "I filed again."

"How many more months do you have left before it's final?" Tara asked as they sat down on the seat underneath the window.

"Four months." Jax answered as Tara realized how fucked up his family situation was compared to the normal life.

A wife who was an addict and a son who had been born two months early. The mother of his daughter was the acting resident on the baby's case. The same woman whom he had just recently seeing again. She could clearly see how twisted everything in this situation was. In high school Tara knew how insane their love was but this situation was proving how extreme it was. Tara always wondered what would have happened if he had stayed after the night they created Hanna. If he had just waited for her to send in her transfer back to Charming would everything be messed up? She questioned it but then realized that if that happened then Abel wouldn't be here. And that was something Tara never wished for. She had fallen quickly in love with the baby and could never wish for anything bad to happen to him. In some strange way she felt a maternal love towards the baby. She had never had this happen but knew that him being part Jax made it happen.

"Are you going to give Wendy custody or are you going to request full?" It was inquiry that she wanted to know but also felt that it may not have been the best time to ask.

"I haven't even considered it. She is going to rehab so that means she won't be around at the beginning but I also don't want to take that away from her." Jax's eye were covered by his palms as he paused taking in a full breath. "What do you think?"

"I think you need to think about Abel and Wendy. See if they can do that or if it would be best to separate them until Wendy is strong enough." Tara gave him a smile before looking at the clock on the wall and saying, "I have to go finish my rounds."

"I just want to tell you, I would never trust anyone else with my kid but you." Jax's words were sweet as a smile overtook her face. "I am happy you came back."

"It's good to be back." Tara replied as she gave him a large smile in return.

"See you later Doc." Jax leaned forward and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips before heading off and leaving her there for a moment watching in appreciation as he walked out.

Tara was walking out of the daycare with a gurgling Hanna by the time she heard a yell from down the hallway. A rush of blonde hair entered her sight as her favorite person in the whole world grabbed her in a tight hug. "Tara!"

"Becca!" Tara yelled back as she squeezed her best friend and also cousin with vigor and excitement before pulling away looking the twenty three year old up and down. "When did you get back into town?"

"This morning. I am crashing at mom's place but I had to stop by and see my goddaughter." Becca replied as her soft brown eyes glistened as she grabbed Hanna into her arms and started to tickle the small stomach.

"She is happy to see you." Tara commented as she watched her smile overtake her face. "Does your dad know you are here?"

"Yes, he actually is helping me surprise my mom. I just have to tell them that I am officially moving back to Charming." The words Becca spoke didn't hit her for a minute.

"What!" When they finally did, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You love Chicago, why are you leaving?"

"Dad needs help dealing with the businesses and beside we both know there is a pull that we have no control over." Tara nodded at the truth in those words. Charming was a town that pulled you back even if you came kicking and screaming. Also there was another factor that could bring both of them back.

"Isn't there something else that is bringing you back?" Tara asked as she gave an ever knowing smile to the girl.

"He isn't even in town, we spoke before I decided to come back and we both agreed to see where it goes but not to force anything." Becca said before she grabbed her bag off the floor and followed Tara towards her car.

"I said the same thing when I came back." Tara replied as she pressed the elevator button.

"Yeah but Jax and you haven't been rolling around in the sheet together later." Becca's voice was disappointed as she let Hanna play with her fingers.

"Actually that isn't true." A smile cross her face as she watched the shock overcome Becca's features.

"When did it happen?" Her voice was quiet as she tried to control her emotions.

"A few days ago. The day before Abel was born." Tara answered as turned back to look at the elevator.

"Was it good?" Becca asked as she wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "From what you told me about your past encounters, he is some kind of sex god."

"Becca Oswald!" Gemma voice struck both girls as both turned around to face the matriarch.

"Hey Gemma." Becca replied as she gave her a hug that the older woman happily accepted.

"What brings you back to town?" Gemma asked as she looked over the two girls who held both of her sons hearts.

"Decided it was time to help dad out with the businesses." Becca replied as she nervously played with the ends of her sweatshirt once Tara took Hanna out of her arms.

"It's good to have you back. Tommy gets into town tomorrow, I am sure he would love to see you." Gemma always told Tara how much she liked the idea of Tommy with Becca. She was a good girl who seemed to take on the role of an Old Lady easily, similar to Tara. "I am having a dinner tomorrow for the family. You both should come."

"We talked a few days ago so we will probably meet up. Besides we have our own family dinner. Tara and my parents are getting back to town tomorrow and I am going to announce my move back." Becca stated as she gave a kiss to Hanna's head.

"It will be good to have you back." Gemma stated as she leaned forward and gave both women a kiss on the cheek. "I am going to go see Abel but I will see you both later okay."

"Oh Gemma would you mind babysitting tomorrow?" Tara asked knowing her cousin and her would end up going out after the family get together. "Becca and I are going to go out and get a few drinks after."

"Of course just drop her off whenever. I will be home all day cooking." Both of them gave the other a kind smile as Gemma walked off to visit her new grandbaby but not before kissing her eldest one on the head. "I'll see you later."

"So we are going out on the town?" Becca inquired as the elevator opened and both of them stepped inside.

"Yes, we are going to get tequila shots and get drunk. I haven't had a night out since before Matt." And just like that hearing his name spew from her lips made both of them angry.

"Fuck him, he wasn't any fun anyway. You are better off without him. Besides Jax is probably better in bed." Becca declared as both of them laughed knowing they had already had this discussion before.

"I swear I can't take you anywhere." Tara replied as she was finally smiling at full power. It felt for once that her life was complete.

The next day came about quickly. Tara went to work and had a calm day. She made sure to visit Abel a few times while on shift to make sure that he was still on the path to recovery. With everything looking well, she clocked out and went straight to her Aunts place, ready to face the family.

Dinner was spent asking about that trip. Her aunt, mom, and sister Adele and their respective husbands had ventured out on a little trip together. It was a way for them to escape their stressful jobs and spend time together. Becca and Tara however did not receive an invitation with both of their statuses were single. All of the couples had a glow to their skin that the Mediterranean sun had left. All their stories included wine and delicious food that Tara could practically taste. Becca and Tara spent the whole night rolling their eyes as Adele went on and on about the amazing beaches with no idea how stuck up she sounded.

"How is school going?" Tara asked as Tristan sat next to her in a very docile manner. Being the youngest in the room at thirteen meant that she wasn't up to excited at the task of keeping up with the conversation at hand. All of it was boring to her as she had been the one, along with Tara, stuck in Charming do her typical routine. "You doing well?"

"She is top of her class. Also she made the tennis team." Karen raved as she looked from the end of the table. "We are very proud of both of our girls."

"I have something to say." Becca cut in before anything else could be said. "I have thought a lot and now that I have my MBA, I have decided to come back to Charming."

"Permanently?" Tristan asked as she smiled looking at her sister with a hopeful smile.

"Yes!" Becca replied as both of them smiled and Karen was beaming.

"My baby is back!" Karen's voice let out a squeal as she jumped out of her chair and embraced Becca. "We must celebrate, maybe we could take a weekend in the city and do some shopping?"

"That sounds fun, can I come?" Tristan asked as she wanted to be involved even though she was only thirteen.

"Sure we can make it a weekend trip. Stay in the Hyatt." Karen suggested as she sat back down.

"That sounds like a plan. Now tell me more about Milan. Was it beautiful?" Becca asked hoping to change the direction of the conversation back to the trip and that was how it continued as the food continued to be devoured and wine was slowly drank.

"What about you Tara any trips in your future?" Adele asked as she finished her story about Rome and the amazing pizza they had eaten there.

"Not at the moment. I can't imagine leaving Hanna for too long." She was quick to reply as she gracefully took a sip of her wine. Adele and Tara's relationship was complicated. She didn't quite understand the decision Tara had made involving their father, and of course Jax. Her disdain for the outlaw was evident and consistently being spurted out for all who listened.

"It probably doesn't help with the Outlaw being around. I don't think he would let his kid anywhere out of his sight. How is his new son anyway?" Adele's face was the typical face of a sibling content that they had efficiently hit a spot in the other.

"Good getting stronger everyday." Tara replied with a forced smile.

"Yeah that is because he had a great surgeon." Diane smiled at Tara while trying to diffuse the typical sibling angst.

"Yeah now that is one pretty perverse story to tell. How far apart are Hanna and the new baby?" Adele asked as the rest of the family felt the tension level rise but had no way to stop it.

"They are six months apart. I didn't think you would have forgotten your nieces age." Tara fought back giving her an identical smirk that was the best way to say that she wouldn't take her shit anymore.

"I didn't but I just wanted to make sure I knew timeline. Must be tough seeing the baby everyday." Adele commented as Diana and Karen started to take the plates into the kitchen while Sam and Elliott left to grab a stronger drink. Tristan had already been released to complete her homework before the next school day. All of them were silent as they did so , including Becca who stayed seated but stayed quiet knowing better than to get in between them.

"Not really, he actually is doing a lot better. It will be a few more weeks until he is out of the incubator." Tara knew what everyone is thinking but she didn't care. That little baby was special to her. She had held his heart in his hands and watched as he fought every odd to live. A bond had been created that would never be broken.

"That's good but what about the Outlaw and you? Are you two together?" Adele asked wanting to create some type of conflict. It was why she was such a good lawyer. Her mind was never afraid of confrontation, because that is what she craved. The need to one up someone else. To prove that she was the best.

"Not at the moment but who knows that can always change." She didn't need to explain to her family her relationship with Jax. From experience they all knew that Jax and she had something different than any other teenage relationship. Even at sixteen, it was obvious how much they loved each other and even though she left, it was still there. It was never destroyed. In someway it had only grown in size with the connection that Hanna had created.

"Why don't you get back with Matt, at least he has a real job." Tara turned to Becca for a moment gathering her emotions. None of her family knew the truth behind their sudden break up. She had told them that she didn't feel right about being with him. Something had told her that he wasn't right. Adele was the only who really protested the idea but her words were lost to Tara.

"He and I never would have worked out. Besides I am sure that a few of the partners at your firm enjoy how much money SAMCRO has given them over the years." Tara was quick to throw it back since she knew just as well as Adele that their law firm was quite content to keep the Son's business.

"Who wants cake?" Diane asked as the rest of the family finally returned with plates in hand.

"Actually we have to head out." Becca commented trying to make a run from the situation that had been left.

"Where are you going?" Karen asked as she place a plate on the table.

"We are celebrating Becca being home." Code for both of them were going to get drunk and then pass out at Tara's house in the early morning.

"Well don't be too late." Karen surrendered as she watched Tara and Becca grab the mess that bringing Hanna meant.

"What about Hanna?" Diane asked as she looked at the play pen in the other room where the baby was peacefully asleep.

"Gemma is going to watch her for me." Tara replied as she fished out the bottle on the counter that had been used for her feeding.

"We can take her." Diane offered as she passed a blanket into the diaper bag.

"You guys just got home. Enjoy it. Gemma is happy to take her." Tara waved off the comment knowing that they deserved to adjust to the time zone again. Jet lag and a baby was never a good mixture.

"Make sure that you don't let her dress her. She might end up looking like a biker." Adele's comment was quickly shot down as soon as it left her mouth. Diane was glaring at her daughter while Tara said nothing as she continued to pack.

"I'll see you guys later." Tara offered as she grabbed Hanna who was happily chewing on her fist.

Driving to the Gemma's house was short and silent as both women understood how the other felt. Being with a boy in SAMCRO had never been accepted as the social norm in Charming. They were a taboo that was only acceptable to be around if you were in need of something.

"You can stay in the car if you want?" Tara offered as she moved to the car seat as she started to unstrap the carrier from the back seat.

"I'll come in. It's better to get this over with." A SAMCRO party was a little different from the dinner they had just walked out of. Alcohol would be in immense amounts while laughter would be at a loud volume as they enjoyed their time together.

Tara didn't really respond as she picked up Hanna who was happily playing with her toy and slobbering all over her face. Becca smiled as she took the place behind Tara and made silly faces at Hanna who continued to giggle at the older woman's antics. "You are lucky you are cute or no one would want to kiss you with all that slobber."

"I am pretty sure I said the same thing to you by the end of night during your twenty first birthday party." Tara said with a smirk on her face as she finally reached the front door.

"You think you are so funny but you really aren't." Her matter of fact tone made Tara laugh as she lightly knocked on the front door hoping someone would hear the sound over the voices radiating on the other side of the door.

Moments passed before the door opened revealing Jax, of all people looking at both of them with a wide smile. "Hey…" Jax glanced at her before seeing what was behind her. "... Becca! What are you doing back here?"

"Decided to move back. Chicago was a little too boring without Tara there to be my wingwoman." Becca spoke out as gave Jax a kind smile while his attention slowly moved down towards the carrier.

"I bet you two wreaked havoc on that city." He stepped aside as Tara and Becca both entered the house. Becca and Jax embraced as Tara placed the carrier and diaper bag on the counter. "What brings you three here?"

"I am dropping Hanna off. Gemma is going to watch her tonight." Tara replied as she slowly unstrapped Hanna from her restraints and handed her over to Jax's waiting arms. He quickly gave the small head a kiss while he raised her over his head so he could get a good look at her.

"Where are you two going?" Tara and he looked at each other for a moment.

"Tara and I are going to the bar tonight. We both need tequila shots." Becca answered as she stood next Tara.

"Who was at the door?" Gemma asked as she stepped into the kitchen. "Oh good are you two hungry there is still leftover food?"

"No we are fine. Right now all we need is alcohol." Becca replied as both Teller's looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Why?" Jax asked out loud as Hanna played the pass the baby game she loved and made her way over to Gemma with a happy smile on her face.

"Family dinner with Adele." Those key words were the answer all of them needed. All of them knew from experience that Adele never held her tongue and even from the start of Tara's relationship she was never silent about her distaste.

"No wonder you need the alcohol. Do you want anything a bit stronger?" Gemma asked as both girls knew what she was offering.

"No thanks but if I need some I will come to you." Becca replied smiling at the older woman's offer. Gemma Morrow was one of few women in the world who would willingly give up their own stash of weed for a night out of fun.

"Good make sure you get the good shit. None of that weak dose that those pussy dealers are pushing." A smile passed both of their lips as Tara watched as that same woman stood there holding her daughter with a fierce protective instinct that Tara admired and understood.

Ever since motherhood, the two of them had bonded. Their relationship at the start was rocky but soon she became a pseudo mother unit for her when her own mom was off in her own world. When she had decided to leave, Gemma did something strange. She kept in touch. Her phone calls came on the same time and same day of the week. It was clock work. Both of them were happy to keep that relationship alive.

"We should probably go now. Everything is in the diaper bag. If you need anything just call. I sober up pretty quickly when needed." Tara stated as she looked through the diaper bag one more time making sure that their night would go as smooth as possible.

"Do you need rides?" Jax asked as he knew the antics of both women. She knew he understood how much the two of the could drink on a night out.

"No we are going to drop my car off and walk. If we are too drunk we can just call cabs." Tara explained as she heard Hanna start to weep, her sign that she was getting hungry.

"Just call me. I will come pick you up." She knew what he was doing. Tara already knew what he wanted. He wanted to make sure that he was in her mind when she was drunk. He wanted to be the one to make sure she got home and was alone.

"Have your phone ready." Tara replied as she gave a small wave to the rest of the family still sitting around the table in their own world. "Bye."

A chorus of goodbyes met her ear as she turned back to Hanna for a final kiss. "Bye baby be good."

"She'll be fine now go have fun." Gemma requested as she quickly pushed her arm to get her out of the door. "Have a shot for me."

"Only for you Gem." Becca replied as she stepped out of the door and waited for Tara to make the move.

"I'll see you later." Jax said in his best sultry voice that Tara knew he thought was charming.

"Maybe, I'll give you a call." With that she stood on her toes and gave him a small kiss on the side of his lips before heading out.

"Tara is in love!" Becca exclaimed as soon as they were safely in the car.

"Maybe but right now all I want to do is get drunk." Her mind slowly focused on one thing and that was the enjoyment she would have with Becca tonight.

Hours later, Tara and Becca were both feeling the best way possible. Both of them knew that they would be worthless tomorrow but were still in some type of control for each other. The bartender had warned them that last call was coming and that they needed to get themselves ready to leave. Becca called a cab while Tara, drunk off of margaritas and tequila shots, called Jax. Becca left first with a promise to call her the next day while Tara nursed her final shot while muttering, "It's depressing drinking alone."

"I always found it very relaxing." Jax's voice filled her ears as he took the seat next to her. "How drunk are you?"

"Enough where I can't feel my nose but not enough where I want to puke." Tara could hold her alcohol. Jax knew it for a fact and she glad he knew the real her. Plenty of times he had watched her down shot after shot without so much as flinching as they slid down her throat and he never judge. She was never a bad drunk but there was a side of her that he loved when she was buzzed and had woken up a few times with foggy memories that could make a porn star blush.

"What about other things?" He leaned in close and whispered in her ear while leaving a lingering kiss along her jawline.

"I am up for anything." She knew that was the side he wanted. All sides of Tara were his favorite, at least that is what he told her, but she knew every once in a while he liked this side to come out. This same side was out in full force when Hanna was conceived.

"Come with me." He offered her his hand as he quickly moved to the dark corner where the bathrooms were located. Tara giggled but kept her body close to him leaving no room to separate the two.

"Are you serious?" Her question left her mouth as soon as the door opened to reveal the women's bathroom waiting for them in the stillness that completely contrasted the music pounding on the other side of the wall.

"Always babe." And with those words he pushed her against the wall and took control of her mouth with his.

For that moment in time it was like they were back in highschool all over again. No fears, no worries, and no responsibilities. It was as if for the first time since she left Charming all those years ago, she was relaxed and she knew it was only possible because of Jax.


	7. Chapter 7

**Next chapter! I am really proud of this! Hope you enjoy. Review!**

A few days passed when the whole town was a bustle as the Fun Town Carnival arrived with all its splendor. Jax had asked Tara to go with him and of course she was happy to oblige. Diane had taken Hanna for the day, happy to have the day to play Grandma. Tara was sure Hanna would end up with ten times the amount of toys and clothes at the end of her visit compared to what Tara had left with her.

Jax and Tara had made plans to meet at the carnival in case Jax needed to leave she had a way to get home. Pulling up to the Carnival Tara was happy to see Jax was there waiting for her. His light jeans and grey shirt were the perfect contrast to the black kutte he wore. Also, Jax leaning against his bike wasn't hurting the scene in the least bit.

"I see that chivalry is not dead after all." Tara commented as she approached him.

"I am the perfect example of chivalry babe." That was one of her favorite things to hear. Jax saved the word babe just for her. He left his other nicknames for other girls who he slept with or flirted with but babe was reserved for Tara.

"Yeah with the shining armour and noble steed." Tara's smile cut her face in half as he only gave her a sweet grin before kissing her soundly on her lips. She watched as his eyes wandered down her body taking in her tank top that showed her curves and the tight jeans that gave her ass the perfect hold. Her choice in outfit was a well thought out decision.

"Come on my mom and the boys are already inside." Tara smiled at the excited innocence Jax portrayed as he pulled her along with their clasped hands locking to create a tight bond. Jax was not going to let her go or the very least

Walking around the carnival brought back a lot of memories. This was one of her favorite places while growing up. Jax and she had come here annually when they were growing up. She could still remember the taste of whiskey in her mouth as Jax and she sat on the Ferris wheel laughing until they cried over nothing.

"Good memories here huh?" Jax slightly nudged Tara's shoulder as he pulled her to stand next to him.

"Yeah, a few. I am pretty sure you tried to go to second base on the Ferris wheel a couple of times." The memory brought a smile to her face. It was short lived as Gemma, Clay, Bobby, Tig, and Tommy walked towards them.

"Tommy!" Tara exclaimed as Tommy was quick to pull her into a bear hug. Even though he was younger than her by six years he seemed to enclose her completely in his arms.

"How ya doin?" His voice was similar to Jax's with the same drawl that could affect any girl around.

"Pretty good."

"Where's Hanna?" Tommy asked as he looked at her expectantly waiting for her to produce his niece.

"My mom has her for the day." Tara replied as she felt Jax slip his arm around her shoulders while pushing his fingers through the cracks of her own.

Gemma suddenly started to lead the group as they weaved in and out of the different booths. Tommy and she both were able to talk and catch up about the past couple of days. Jax kept his arms around Tara making it seem he was staking his claim again. Tara even felt his hand slide up under her shirt near her lower back where his tattoo was still present. It had served as a constant reminder of what she left behind all those years ago. Nineteen and endlessly in love.

"Hello Elliott..." Clay's voice made her attention shift away from Jax's smile and towards the group approaching them. Tristan was all smiles as Karen and Elliott approached behind. Karen of course wore her worried expression which appeared whenever SAMCRO was around.

"Where is your mom?" Karen directed the question at Tara.

"With the baby. Where's Becca?" Her cousin was nowhere to be seen but there wasn't a chance Becca would miss the carnival.

It was one of the things they spoke about while they were living back in Chicago. The joy this place brought to both of their past lives in California. Becca was the one to come home. Tara always made sure she was too busy to visit. Even Christmas and summers were spent gaining more experience. She had countless jobs. If her mom wanted to see her, they had to come to her. Even their wedding was a destination wedding to make sure she wouldn't see him. Her heart would break if she ever saw him. It took nine years for her to finally face him.

"She is somewhere." Karen dismissed as Tristan seemed to get anxious being in the group of grownups.

"I am going to go on the spin out." She pronounced as she looked at her mom and then to Tara who was giving her a kind smile.

"You've been on it three times already." Tara smiled as she heard the motherly tone announce itself in Karen's voice.

"Here." Jax handed over his leftover tickets that he wasn't planning on using. Tig, Bobby, and he had been kicked off the last ride because they pretended to scream reenacting the sounds of twelve year girls.

"Oh not it is okay." Karen wasn't about to accept favors. Tara knew her fear about letting SAMCRO into her family. It was a reason why they sent Becca to school in Chicago. Keeping her far away from Tommy.

"Don't worry about it they kicked me off cause I was screaming too loud." Jax commented as Tristan took the tickets giving him a shy smile.

"Yeah it was pretty embarrassing." Tara gave to the conversation hoping to finish the subject.

"Tara!" Becca's voice entered the conversation as the girl approached the group dressed in a tight black shirt and tight jeans showing off her perfect twenty three year old body.

"God I wish I still had my pre-baby body." Tara commented as she hugged her cousin feeling all the eyes on them.

"You look amazing anyway." Becca offered as she saw Tommy for the first time. "Hi.

"Hey." Tommy answered as he looked at the love of his life in the eyes. It was apparent to Tara that they were in their own little world at the moment.

"We are going to go. Are you coming?" Karen asked as she looked at Becca.

"No I am going to stay with Tara." And Tommy but that was assumed. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

"Okay." Then they were off. She had never seen her Aunt pull her Uncle with such force before.

"You know one day I think my mom might have a heart attack if she sees a SAMCRO member." Becca said as she watched the backs of her parents disappeared in the crowd.

"At least you don't have a kid with one." Tara replied as she stood close to Becca while the rest of the group started to pair off and head in different directions.

"Do you want some?" Becca asked holding up a cup of lemonade as they followed behind Bobby, Tig, Jax, and Tommy who were heading to the shooting the booth.

"What's in it?" Tara knew Becca too well to not find this a necessary question to ask.

"Vodka." More vodka than lemonade as Tara discovered when she took a sip grimacing while the warm liquid left a trail of heat through her mouth and down her throat.

"That has a kick." Tara shut her eyes trying to overcome the sensation as she felt a pair of eyes on her back. Looking over her shoulder she caught two pairs of identical blue eyes looking at Becca and she.

A few hours passed before Jax and the rest of the group were called away. Somehow Gemma, Becca, and Tara ended up wandering around Fun Town together. All three of them enjoyed their time catching up. Tara and Becca reminisced on memories from Chicago. Gemma was able to listen in and hear the life the two of them had. Both girls were happy to spend time with Gemma. Even though they both left her two sons heartbroken and behind in Charming, the older woman understood. Gemma knew if they were to survive in the lifestyle of the club, they needed to become stronger on their own and that is what they did.

"TRISTAN!" The fear in Karen's voice was what alerted the group to the situation at hand as she looked at the group in front of her. "Have you seen Tristan?"

"No, what's wrong?" Becca immediately started to look around for her younger sister but she was nowhere in sight. All around them, people went about their day, roaming around the festival but Tristan was nowhere to be seen.

"I can't find her. She wasn't at the ride when we got back." They all knew what that meant. Tristan would never leave her parents if told not to. She was a good girl. Better than any of them or at least in Tara's opinion.

"We'll find her." Tara said as they got to work looking around for anyone in charge. In her mind she pushed out any other type of thought of what horrible things could happen. She couldn't let her own past affect her finding Tristan.

Time passed slowly. The entire carnival was stopped as they looked around the grounds for the missing girl. Tara called her mom to make sure she knew and also to watch Hanna while she looked. Everyone was fearful of what could happen. Tristan was the perfect object for a kidnapping and everyone knew it.

Then someone announced she had been found and was going to St. Thomas. Tara called Diane and made sure it was okay for her to watch Hanna for the night as Becca and she drove to the hospital. Becca, Tara, Karen, and Elliott sat in the waiting room while the doctors examined Tristan. Apparently one of the carnival workers found Tristan in the woods. They didn't give a lot of the information about her condition but Tara heard a few rumors from nurses who were working.

Karen and Elliott were the first allowed to visit with her. Becca and Tara had stayed the whole night in the waiting area. Karen came out and requested that Becca come into the room. She was clear that she wanted some personal family time. Tara was happy to give it to them as she looked up at the time and saw that her shift was to begin in less than ten minutes. Wiping her eyes, she went into the locker room and changed into her simple green scrubs. It was plain but comfortable.

"Your patient is out of detox." A nurse informed Tara as soon as she appeared at the nurse's station handing Tara the file.

"Thanks." Tara replied as she grabbed it and made her way towards Wendy. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck." All of the nurses had heard the rumor that was floating around. It wasn't actually a rumor more of a fact everyone knew Dr. Knowles had the same baby daddy as the crank junkie. Two complete opposites had one common factor and Tara knew everyone looked at her differently. She could see it in their eyes.

"Wendy?" Tara asked as she knocked on the door.

"Yes." A soft voice answered. Tara was almost shocked to see her brown eyes open and looking around.

"How are you feeling?" Tara felt as if she was approaching a rabid animal but Tara had learned from experience that a person who was detoxing was in a vulnerable state.

"A little groggy but otherwise okay." Nodding, Tara looked over what information the machines were putting out making sure her heart rate was stable.

"Good that means if Dr. Lyons agrees, you will be discharged within the next few days." Tara paused as she wrote down the last information. "When you are healthy enough I will take you to see your son."

"Thank you. Do you know if Jax has been around?" Wendy asked as she nervously picked at her nails. It was traditional behavior for people wanting a fix and Tara knew something was making her uncomfortable.

"He has come a few times from what I've heard but I don't know for a fact." In a small hospital it was hard not hear the gossip that was spread and ever since SAMCRO started to hang around the hospital they were the number one topic.

"How is Abel?"

"Getting stronger every day. He is starting to look a lot like Jax." Tara replied as she gave her a smile.

"You must be loving this. You give him the perfect baby while I'm the one who fucked everything up. Has he come back to you yet?" The change in mood was understandable in Tara's medially informed mind. She had been asked worst things by patients.

"Hanna is anything but perfect. No matter what, Abel was going to be born with that heart. The drugs didn't help but both of Jax's children are going to have to be medically observed their whole lives." Tara was quick at her reply as she turned to leave.

"Jax and you will never work out. Jax needs to feel like he is saving someone. It's why he stayed with me for so long. Don't you know why he stayed with you? You were the town drunk's daughter. People talk and Jax and you were the main topic." Wendy spoke out at Tara as anger overtook her facial features. "Are you seeing him again?"

"Yes we have started seeing each other." Tara was honest as she kept the eye contact Wendy initiated. Tara would not feel intimidated by Wendy.

"I bet you two started the night of Abel's surgery. You saved him while I almost killed him. It is like a fairytale." Wendy grounded out as Tara heard her heartbeat start to race from the machine.

"Actually it was before." Tara stated but left out the specifics. Wendy didn't need to know it was the night before Abel was born.

"Well I am happy for you." Sarcasm laced her voice as Wendy looked away from Tara. "The doctor and the junkie. I bet it was an easy choice for him to make."

"I am sorry Wendy but he came to me. I never went after him" Tara answered as she left the room not wanting to take any more abuse. Wendy could be in Abel's life only if that is what Jax wanted but Tara wasn't going to take any more of the blame for their relationship. Jax had made his choice and it was his to make, and his alone.

As Tara was filing out different paperwork for another patient of hers she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. It was a Chicago area code but it was unrecognizable. "Hello?"

"Hi there..." Without a second thought Tara closed her phone immediately while looking forward not knowing what to do with herself.

"Hey." Hale's voice made her head snap to look at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just stuff." Tara replied as she tried to subtly catch a full breathe.

"What room is Tristan in?"

"Down the hall." Tara replied as she headed back to the nurse's station. Becca had stationed herself in the room the whole day. Elliott was playing guard dog while Karen was making sure that no one got passed him. Tara had the ability to go in but at the moment her day was too full for her to make any type of stop. Tara never had a chance for a break the whole day. Hale even tried to get her to distract Karen and Tara agreed but knew the Tristan wouldn't speak.

It took a while but once her day was almost wrapped up she made her way towards the room. Karen and Elliott were both gone from the door so she made her way into room. Becca was seated with a cup of steaming coffee and Tristan looked as if she was struggling internally with her problem. "Hey."

"Hi." The calm reply from Tristan made her relive the moment she knew the younger girl was going through. The shame, regret, hatred, and so many other emotions that arose when broken like that.

"Hi." She glanced at Becca as she watched Becca pour sugar packs into the cup.

"Hey." The sadness in her voice was palpable as the words hit Tara's face.

"Have you left?" Tara asked as she took a step forward.

"Yeah I got some coffee and mom is outside getting some air." Becca replied as she looked at the clock that was on the wall.

"Well I wanted to come by and say hi. How are you feeling?" Tara asked as she sat on the side of the bed placing her hand on top of Tristan's.

"Sore." It was short but told Tara everything. She was feeling the pain that only something like this could create.

"Can you remember anything at all?" Tara asked looking at Becca who seemed to want to say something but was holding it back. "You know what confidentiality is?"

"Yes it means they can't say anything." Tristan replied in a low voice which Tara attributed to the beating her jaw took during the attack.

"Exactly and I am a doctor. That means that anything you say here can't be repeated." She looked into Tristan's eyes to assure her she didn't have to speak if she didn't want to.

"I don't want to talk about it." Her eyes glazed over as she rolled over onto her side to avoid the question.

"Okay well can I tell you a story about someone in a similar position as you?" Tara asked as she listened for Tristan to decline or for Tara to continue. "While I was working in Chicago a woman came in. She had been raped three days before. All of the evidence that was available had been washed away. There was nothing for the cops to use. She told me it was the biggest mistake of her life. She wished she had come in earlier so she could see her attacker suffer like he had done to her. Is that something you want to happen? If you want to say something no one will be upset."

Tristan seemed to disappear in her own mind. Tara said nothing as she stood up and walked out but not before catching the sympathy in Becca's eyes. Tara knew what Becca was thinking but didn't feel like facing the truth that was present on Becca's face.

A few hours passed before she headed to do her final rounds. She was hoping Wendy would be asleep when she went to her room but the voices emanating from the cracked door told her that Wendy finally got to see Jax. Tara knew she should have left as soon as she heard them talking but curiosity made her freeze.

"All of this shit is my fault Wendy. When you told me you were pregnant I didn't know what to think. I just found out about Hanna and then you throw this on me. I bailed because I didn't want to be with you anymore. Abel's sickness is on me but you need to take care of yourself. I can't be there to catch you when you fall off the bandwagon again. I have two kids now." Jax explained as he stood there in front of the bed. "I need to be there for both of them. Both of them deserve me."

"I know Jax but I just want to be a family again." Wendy's cries were a little louder as Tara decided to slip away before Jax decided to leave. Tara did not want to get caught listening in.

Just as Tara was signing out she heard about the scene Wendy made in front of the incubation chamber. A nurse who was in the room described it as an emotional breakdown. Walking out to her car Tara made her way towards Diane's to grab her daughter. The past twenty four hours had been hard and all she wished was to see her baby. Hold her as she smelled the soft scent that all babies had.

The exchange between herself and her mother was simple. She took the bags she had given to her mother at the beginning of the visit and immediately went back to her house. Hanna who was happily chewing her fist easily went through their typical routine. Once she was fed, Tara started to get her dressed when Jax walked through the door. "Hey."

"Hi." Tara replied as she passed Hanna over to him and listened as Hanna's laughter rang through the air as he lightly tickled her sides.

"How are you doing?" Jax asked as he sat down at the table looking at Hanna but directing the question at Tara.

"Not that good." Tara paused as she sat across from Jax looking at him. Seeing him there made Tara realize that she needed to tell him the truth. "I have been hiding something for a while now but I don't know how you are going to react."

"What is it?" Fear crossed Jax's eyes as he looked at her with worry in his eyes.

"No one else knows this but Becca. She's the only other person who knows. During my internship at Chicago Presbyterian I was attacked." She was vague.

"What happened?" Jax asked as he adjusted Hanna so she was facing away from his chest so she could chew on her favorite toy and babble to herself.

"I was walking into my apartment. Becca was in Charming for the weekend. Some guy came and hit me over the head and when I woke up he was on top of me. I don't really remember a lot. I am pretty sure he drugged me." Tara paused reaching for Hanna who seemed to want to swap places. Tara also hoped Hanna would help her keep her emotions in check. "He beat me and I passed out. By the time I woke up Becca was home and shaking me awake. When I got to the hospital there wasn't any evidence left. I took all of the pills that were supposed to have gotten rid of any type of STDs or pregnancy. Six weeks later I had a miscarriage."

"Did Matt know?" Was all Jax said as Tara saw the anger ferment inside of his eyes.

"No I never told him. It happened four months before I found him in bed with her. I should have said something earlier but I never even told my family." She also didn't want to see 'that look' in his eyes. The look Becca had given her. It was the change in how they looked at her. "I am going to put her to bed."

Laying Hanna down, Tara gave Jax a minute to bail. She figured he would disappear on the back of his bike as soon as she left the room. Moving back out to the kitchen Tara was happy to see Jax was still sitting there at the table. Without another word Jax pulled Tara so she sat on his lap. No words were exchanged as Jax leaned forward and gave Tara a passion filled kiss. Jax then declared, "No one will ever touch you again."

And that was all Tara needed to hear.


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is another one. I would love to see more review and hear how you guys are connecting with the story so far!**

Ever since she told Jax about the rape he had been around a little more than usual. Sometimes he would drive her home from the hospital to make sure that she felt safe. Those were the moments that she cherished. Being back on his bike with him in full control. One of the safest places to be in the world for her.

"Dr. Knowles?" Tara was torn from her memories as Dr. Nameed interrupted her own mind and put her back into the room where over a hundred of neonatal specialists were housed. This was a place where the best minds and hands were there to speak about the newest techniques and procedures happening in the medical field.

For her it was interesting but after all the speakers had finished she was left to mingle. That was something for Tara that came easy but there was nothing challenging for her. Other people in fellowships with different hospital were working the room meeting new doctors to vaunt about their successes but Tara wasn't one for boasting. She was not here to explore new experience but to become more knowledgeable so as to give more children life.

"Yes." Tara spoke out as she turned to face her mentor who was standing there with multiple doctors who seemed to be high in their years of experience.

"I would like to introduce you to Dr. Andrew Kenneth, Dr. George Melon, and Dr. Liam Gregory. I was telling them about Abel's surgery and they wanted to speak with you." Dr. Nameed explained as he stood there looking at her expectantly.

"Oh well I am flattered but really I just remembered reading about a similar surgery and thought it could help. It was nothing." Tara diffused her own accomplishment hoping that they would head to another resident to discuss their accomplishments.

"No my dear I saw the damage that had been done to that poor baby. His life is all thanks to you." Dr. Kenneth explained before locating his own resident. "Come boys let us leave her so that she can enjoy people her own age."

"I think I am going to go back to room." She interrupted Dr. Nameed informing her that she was going to go check into her room.

"Okay

Reaching for some fresh air, Tara was happy to find that outside of the room and in the hallway. Just as she stepped over the threshold, she was happy to feel her phone vibrate in her pocket. She prayed that it was nothing serious and only Diane checking in on her instead of the dreaded phone call telling her that Hanna was either endangered or injured.

"Hello?" Tara answered trying to remain calm but her motherly instincts were telling her to be prepared to leave immediately.

"Hey you still at that conference shit?" Jax's voiced filled up the other end of the line as she released a breath.

"Yup I am going to stay the night and then head home tomorrow morning." She didn't really want to stay but it was a three hour drive and there were only a few more hours of light left.

"Why don't you come to Indian Hills. We just stopped to get some shit but we are only an hour away. You can stay with me tonight." Jax offered as she heard.

"I don't know…" She looked around and saw how crowded the room was becoming and realized that she could slip away without anyone catching her.

"Come on you know you want to spend time with me." Tara could picture the smirk on his face. He knew what he was doing.

"Alright I am heading out now. I will see you in an hour." She relented as she closed her phone and walking out towards the lobby. Her car was out front and she bypassed the desk and headed out where a doorman was holding the door open. "Thank you."

The drive from Incline Village in North Lake Tahoe, the Nevada side to Indian Hills was only an hour and a half at most. Sunlight was dwindling but from the looks of it Jax and Bobby were the only Sons to arrive at the clubhouse. Apparently they both had perfect timing as Jax was pulling off his helmet off.

"Looks like you have perfect timing." Jax stated as he pulled her in and give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Yes I do, and hi Bobby." She glanced over his shoulder connecting with Bobby's eyes giving him a kind smile. For some reason Bobby had always been her favorite. There was something more to him than SAMCRO.

"Hey Doc." He replied as he started into the clubhouse and Jax followed with her under his arm.

"JACKSON TELLER!" The person could only be Jax's famous Uncle Jury. She could only laugh as he grabbed Jax into a large hug while pulling him into the clubhouse.

"Come on Doc." Bobby said as he gave his bent elbow to Tara seeming to try and be the gentleman she knew he wasn't.

"Lead the way." Tara replied as she took hold of the outstretched limb and followed his lead into the clubhouse that was almost eerily similar to the set up at Teller- Morrow.

"Who is this lovely lady?" Jury asked as he turned to Bobby and Tara while releasing Jax from his hold.

"This is Dr. Tara Knowles." Jax replied as he stepped over to put his arm over her shoulders that was covered by her leather jacket. Underneath was a simple white blouse that was appropriate for the conference but out of place for the smoky clubhouse. "My Old Lady."

"How did you snag that?" Jury asked as the other looked her up and down.

"High school, it was the bike and then somehow he charmed me into falling for him and I couldn't stay away." Tara replied before Jax could answer the question.

"Oh now I see. I am guessing you are also Hanna's mother than." She nodded as Jax placed his hand on the small of her back where her tattoo still lingered.

"Yup." Jax replied as he gave her hip a light squeeze.

"Cherry why don't you get the Doctor something to drink while we talk?" Jury yelled back at a brunette who was quick to follow the command.

"Come on Doc we can show you around." Nodding Tara followed knowing that Jax would come find her when he was ready.

"Thanks." Tara commented as the girl made sure to lead them out of ear shot of the little meeting Bobby and Jax were having.

"So you are an Old Lady? Where's your tat?" Cherry asked as she opened a beer for her and sat down on the stool next to her.

"Lower back." Everyone knew that the boys chose where the tat went. Tara and Jax however changed that tradition. Jax wanted her to get it in between her shoulder blades but she was able to convince him to allow her to put it on her lower back. She used the fact that it would be better for men who were looking at her ass to see the crow there than covered by her shirt.

"His pick?" Tara knew that the boys liked to brand their woman but not her. She didn't let anyone put their stamp on her. Jax was put there because he had her heart and she had his. Simple as that.

"Mutual." Cherry gave her a pleased look as they continued to talk. The girls were interested in what information was stored in her head. Questions about what she did and some girls had medical inquisitions for themselves or their (friends.) Tara looked around the room trying to take everything in.

The place was a little dirtier than she liked. It was a lot like the clubhouse back in Charming but there was also a little bit of side business. There was something about a few of the girls that told her that they didn't give themselves up easily. Money was definitely exchanged for their hours in between the sheets.

Tara was always a little afraid of how use to the outlaw life she had become. Church was something that she understood to be the most important time of their day. It was understandable but there was a little less comfort being in someone else's clubhouse. Usually she would be talking with Gemma instead of listening to the girl groan about all of the work tonight would bring. She knew what a patch over was. Tonight was to celebrate an addition to the club and she was happy to be apart of it.

When she was growing up she always felt abandoned. Her father left their house and was only at his new one to sleep off his hangover. Diane however was the absentee parent. At fourteen Tara had to learn how to take care of herself. No one was there, like Adele had, to watch over her. Her grades were her choice. Whether she was home by a certain time was her choice. Diane would rather be out at a bar trying to find a new man to fulfill her life than be at home with her daughter. That put a strain on Tara. It was something that made her search for something more. It brought her to Jax. A boy who put her on the back of his bike and then never let go of her.

While she wanted to stay, she also knew that Charming was not for her to stay forever. She needed to live outside of the small town. Once she was accepted into UCSD, there was decision to be made. Lucky for her, Jax had said that she should go. He was understanding and believed that she was meant for something greater. There was no love loss. Both of them promised to keep in touch but in the end that didn't happen. Gemma was pissed because of how broken Jax was. She was upset that Tara left but then when Tara returned with Hanna in her arms it made her favor turn. Suddenly she saw how their love withstood the time away.

She heard from Becca that he had gotten married when she was about to graduate medical school. Becca was in junior year at Northwestern and she had just returned from spring break. Tara had made sure to never return to Charming. At the beginning it was because she was working so much trying to pay for college without having to go into debt. Then it was more to separate herself from the situation. The longer she was away the more it felt like those years in Charming were just a fantasy. She could never decide whether those feelings were just a dream of a lost girl.

Even when Sam and Diane married, they made it a destination wedding on the big island of Hawaii. Sam, Diane, Elliott, Karen, Becca, Tristan, and Tara showed for the wedding. Adele was in trial and couldn't leave. Christmas and other holidays were spent receiving overtime gaining as much money as possible. She even volunteered in a free clinic two years in a row over winter break to gain more experience so she would receive the best internship possible. It was the place where she met Matt. He came in to get stitched up after having an altercation during a drug bust. His smile was kind and he even offered to take her to a diner around the corner when her shift was over. She had agreed to it right after Becca came back with the news of Jax's newest Old Lady. Sometime Tara felt bad for Becca. The minute she decided to move out to Chicago with her, Becca was unofficially appointed the bearer of bad news.

"What you thinking about?" Jax as he approached her as she sat on the couch nursing a bottle of beer.

"Nothing much just thinking about our story. All of the girls wanted to know how the Doctor and the biker got together." She gave a sneaky smile as he plopped down next to her.

"What did you tell them?" Jax whispered in her ear laying a soft kiss just below her ear.

"That I seduced you and put you under a spell." She laughed slightly at the sensation before turning so they were facing each other.

"Come with me I want to show you something." He stated while standing again and offering her his hand.

"You don't have to be so secretive, I already have seen it." She gave back to him as she passed and squealed slightly at the small pinch he left on her ass.

"Smart ass." Jax stated as he pushed her forward towards a room he was informed was his for the night.

"Just cause I went to college and med school doesn't mean you can stoop to name calling Mr. Teller." Tara replied as she opened the door and sat down on the bed as Jax closed the door behind him. "Are you going to give me a lap dance because if you are then I might have to mentally prepare myself or else I might die of laughter."

"How many drinks in are you?" Jax asked as she realized he knew exactly how she acted at every stage of drunkenness. He once told her that when she was flat out drunk that she was a freak and when only slightly buzzed jokes just flowed from her mouth.

"A few beers." Tara stated as she only could laugh as he pulled his shirt off thinking that if this was a lap dance then this was shit.

"What do you think?" Jax asked as he turned so the left side of his torso was in view. There on his chest was Abel's written in beautiful script while along his ribs he had gotten Hanna's name down his side.

"When did you get this?" She had seen him in two days and all of a sudden he had two new tattoos.

"Two days ago. I wanted to show you but you had the graveyard shift so I decided it would be better to wait for it to heal a little bit." Tara couldn't help herself. She lightly glided her hand down the raw skin admiring the ink that was permanently ingrained into it.

"Is it sore?" She knew what it was like to have the needle continuously stabbed into her skin. It was unpleasant but somehow in the end it was always worth it.

"A little tender but nothing I can't handle." She smiled as she remembered seeing the bruises on his back that night. They were deep and black with the clotting blood beneath the surface.

"Good." Tara suddenly grabbed his shoulders and pushed him on the bed while crawling on top of him. Something about seeing her child's name grace his skin made her fall even more in love with the man.

"Fuck yes." Jax groaned as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Morning came too early for the pair. Tara knew she needed to go relieve Diane before she went on shift tonight. Gemma was going to get the baby because in a few days the Taste of Charming Fundraiser would steal all of her time away from her grand baby.

"I should probably get going." Tara spoke up first as she crawled out of the bed searching for her missing pieces of clothing that had somehow made their away around the room.

"Yeah I have to go do something too. I will walk you out." Jax said as he himself stood and started to grab the clean clothes that he packed for the night. Tara however knew her bag was still in trunk so she was left to redress in her clothes from the night before.

"Heading out Doc?" Clay asked as soon as he saw Tara walking out with Jax in tow.

"Yeah got to go pick up our girl." Tara knew that Clay was a hard man. He didn't show a lot of kindness but she knew he was the one to catch the sick bastard who raped Tristan and that meant she was grateful to him.

"Alright say hi to Gemma for me." He replied while giving her a smile that she knew he wanted to see as kind but she would never see him that way. All of the other guys had this playful side. She saw it all of the time. Even Tig, who sometimes freaked her out, managed to make her smile but not Clay. His smiles never reached his eyes.

"I will. I'll see you guys later." She stopped where Bobby was sitting and gave him a small kiss on the cheek making him smile back at her.

Walking out into the sun her eyes blinked a few times while Jax's arm pulled her by the shoulders closer to him while grabbing her lips with hers. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah come by the hospital. Abel and I will be waiting." Giving him a small wink she sat down in the front seat while Jax held the door open.

"I might stop by mom's first and see Hanna." Nodding with his statement she smiled as he leaned forward again giving her another kiss before closing the door.

She started the car as she saw him get on the back of his bike before she headed back onto the road heading towards the highway. Stopping for gas just passed the clubhouse she was standing there filling up as another car pulled up. She didn't think of anything of it but suddenly she felt eyes on her back. A man with salt and pepper hair stood there with his eyes covered by sunglasses. His mouth opened to say something but he stopped when the nozzle disengaged from her car telling her that her car was full. She quickly got in her car and drove away not liking the attention he was giving her.

The whole day was blur as she started her rounds. She was happy to see that all of her patients were improving. Together she was having a successful shift.

"Here you go Dr. Knowles someone dropped this off for you." Tara stopped as she grabbed the envelope with her name sloppily scribbled on the face.

Before she opened it, a kiss on her cheek told her that Jax had arrived. She had already spoken with Gemma about Abel and knew that she was sitting staring at the baby in the next room. "How is he doing?"

"Good everything seems to be going perfect." The smile on his face was worth it for her. She was glad to see him finally letting Abel be apart of his heart. He was his son and it was apparent in his eyes.

Nodding he gave her another kiss and after headed towards Abel's room. Looking at him, she gave him a smile before turning her back and walked down the hall while tearing the envelope open. There inside were a pair of panties. The ones that he had taken that night of the rape. All of the blood rushed out of her brain as she realized what this meant. He had found her and was most likely in Charming to hand deliver the envelope. The letter read:

I know where you are and I know you have been with with. Don't think you can ever escape me. I will always find you.

For the first time in awhile, Tara was scared for her life.

Tell me what you tihn


	9. Chapter 9

**Next Chapter! Please review and tell me how you feel about Tara and Jax's relationship. What about Becca and Tommy's? Do you want more of one than the other? Anything that you think will be heard.**

Jax had become a protective as soon as she showed him the disgusting note attached to her underwear. He made sure to have an eye on her as much as physically possible without telling the club why. Tara on her part made sure that she didn't venture out of the safety zones that she knew this monster could get. Being in Charming did give her some peace of mind. They would immediately know when someone was in the town who wasn't supposed to be. Small towns had some perks. Unser also helped apparently there were feds in town. Jax did however make sure that Tara told her work about the incident. She told security that someone from her old hospital seemed to have taken an interest in her and she felt uncomfortable. They explained that if there was an type of person hanging around they would make sure they were taken care of. Margret Murphy was kind enough to understand the situation. She however was not able to relax. She kept having to look over her shoulder. One man almost gave her a heart attack as he sat there looking at her but he was only around for a short time.

"You okay?" Someone asked as soon as she walked into work that morning. Jax had come to her house that night talking about some creep looking in him and Abel. He was quick to squash her fears stating that he seemed more like a dad who lost a child than a monster. As she looked behind she was relieved to see that it was just a nurse, Cathy, who was speaking with her.

"Yeah I am fine just Hanna kept me up last night." That was a complete lie but she didn't need anyone knowing that it was mostly no sleep even as Jax laid next to her with his arm wrapped around her middle.

"Just wait until she is talking. They will be awake in the early morning and she won't let you forget about her." Cathy commented as she grabbed the chart for another one of her patients who as in the incubation chamber to the right of Abel's. Both he and Hanna were growing at a rapid pace. She could see Jax appear more in Abel everyday. Hanna was one who seemed to inherited both sides of her parents. Tara was pleased that she still had her nose and eyes but her lips and cheeks seemed to take after her Teller side.

"I have already been warned. My mom keeps telling me about how I use to climb into bed with her just so that I could see her open her eyes." Tara responded as she looked over the chart before feeling the baby's skin to see if there was any change to their internal temperature.

"Good but it is worth it." This was the typical statement from any parent. Whenever she asked anyone before she became pregnant all of them spoke about the problems and difficulties but in the end the final statement was that it was worth it. As a mother herself she couldn't help but agree with them.

"Dr. Knowles someone is waiting for you in the lobby." She had finished surgery less than thirty minutes but the surgical nurse still approached her with this news.

"Okay thank you." Tara answered as she walked back to the lobby where she was shocked to a standstill. He was here. She couldn't believe it.

"Tara…" Matt spoke as he approached her but she said nothing to him. All she did was walk away and never looked back. She didn't need to deal with him. She would never speak to him again if she could.

Once her shift was over, she was happy to be able to attend the Taste of Charming festival. She always enjoyed her time there and also being back at the middle school brought back better memories. Times when she was growing up that meant that she actually had Diane as a parent. Her mother was still around for her. Even volunteered for the school but high school was the darkest time of her life. She hated that place.

"Hey Tara." Donna Winston said as she approached with Kenny and Ellie in tow.

"Hi how are you?" She asked as she adjusted Hanna who was safely placed on her hip. Gemma had the play pen underneath the SAMCRO tent waiting for her.

"Okay getting by." She answered as she let Hanna grab onto her hand. "How is this little one?"

"Good but she is getting sassier. Apparently she takes after Jax more than any of us thought." Tara replied as she started to walk in line with Donna so they could speak together. Donna and she really didn't know each other that well. She was a year below Tara, Jax, and Opie in school and Tara was too distracted by school and Jax at the time to really get to know her. Donna got pregnant a month before her graduation and Tara was already gone by then but Tara understood where Donna was coming from. Being an Old Lady meant you had to prepare for anything to happen to you or to your man.

"Do you want to hang out with us?" Donna asked as she made her way towards a table. Opie then came up behind them.

"Hey Tara." The big man gave her a small smile while grabbing his goddaughter into his arms and making her smile as loud as she could. "Hi pretty girl."

"Hey Opie." She leaned on her toes to give him a small kiss on the cheek while smiling as he tickled Hanna relentlessly. "I see you still have the touch."

"I have always been able to charm Teller women. Why do you think Gemma never gets mad at me." Opie answered as he gave Hanna back to Tara while patting her butt.

"It also helps that she also changed your diapers." Tara answered as the three of them sat down at one of the picnic tables.

"I am surprised that Gemma isn't making you work." Opie spoke as the kids were all running around playing a game of tag as Hanna was using Tara's hands to stand up on her wobbly legs. Everyday she was growing and coming closer to standing, walking, and talking.

"No I already patch your brothers up. She can't make me feel like I need to do anything else for the club." Tara was never one to need prove herself to anyone and that went for SAMCRO also. Over the past few months she saw that Donna was starting to feel the same way. She knew she should try to reach out to Donna and try and get to know her better. If Jax and she kept going the way they were, it would only help their relationship.

"Where are your parents?" Donna asked not wanting to go into any more details about the club.

"They never come. Feel that it isn't something that they need to do." Tara commented as she looked around wondering where Jax was. She needed to feel him around so that she could relax.

"Gemma is glaring at you." Donna noted as Tara looked over her shoulder where Gemma was staring at her while motioning for her to come over.

"Ah fuck." Tara groaned as she stood and brought Hanna up into her arms. "I'll be back. Wish me luck."

"Good luck." Opie commented as he sat down next to Donna while Ellie came next to her.

"You didn't even stop and let me see Hanna." Gemma said as soon as she was in hearing reach.

"Sorry I was catching up with Donna." Tara commented as she passed Hanna over while taking a chip from the basket.

"You might want to talk with her. You seemed to have adjusted easier than her." Gemma said as she let Hanna play with her necklace that was hanging against the skin showing from her low cut shirt. "Nice outfit by the way."

"Thanks." Tara commented a she looked down at her outfit. She was wearing two tank tops to try and give her skin the ability to breath as the sun was beating down on them with jeans to cover the pounds she had put on during her pregnancy.

"Has she had a nap?" Gemma asked as Tara stepped around the table so she was standing on the same side as Gemma.

"Not yet but I was hoping she could maybe get one here. She could sleep through cannon fire once she is out." Tara answered as she took Hanna from her arms.

"Now?" Shaking her head she explained that once Hanna was tired she would put her to bed. Turning around she saw a few of the boys approached with Bobby Elvis at the head.

"Come whenever the girls and I will watch her." Gemma offered she prepared another dish for a customer.

"I am sorry ma'm but may I ask what your tattoo means?" Matt's voice entered her ears as she turned around shocked that he would appear.

"Its means I am taken. My guy is SAMCRO." Gemma replied using the information as a underhand threat making sure that she kept eye contact as she handed Matt his chili. Tara's face was showing the emotions that she was feeling at a moment. "Why do you want to know?"

"I saw it once a few years ago. I was told something different." He said as he walked away and headed towards the Sheriff's table.

"Who was that?" Gemma demanded as she saw Tara shake out of her trance.

"That was Matt. He's my ex- fiance." Tara stated as she tried to control her heart that was beating out of her chest. "He works for ATF in Chicago."

"You dated a fed." Gemma asked surprised that Tara would go for someone so different than her son.

"He isn't that innocent. Apparently I fall for bad boys." That was all she could say as she moved away from Gemma and considered whether she should talk with him or not.

"Tara!" Becca and Tommy both approached her while Tommy snatched Hanna from her arms.

"Matt is here." She said immediately as she looked at Becca with worry in her eyes.

"Really?" Becca seemed shocked by the statement.

"You mean Matt as in your ex?" Tommy asked as he stopped tickling Hanna to ask the question.

"Bingo." Becca replied as she looked around

"You alright?" Jax asked as he came up from behind her taking Hanna from Tommy. Apparently everyone loved to pass Hanna around.

"Matt's here." Those were the only words she could get out.

"You mean as in Federal agent Matt? Your ex-fiance?" Nodding both of them looked at each other for a moment. "Fuck."

"I know." Tara agreed in a sarcastic tone as she crawled into his arms trying to hide. His other hand slowly went to her lower back bringing her body as close as he could without crushing Hanna.

"Don't worry he won't come close to you." Jax promised as he slowly looked around trying to figure out which one of the many people were the jackass. "Just either stay with mom or Becca if I am not around and you will be fine."

"You're right thanks." Tara muttered as she let him calm her down before guiding her back to the SAMCRO tent. Pulling Hanna close he made sure to stop Tara in her tracks and kiss her sloppily on the lips. He didn't know where the guy was but she knew that he was hoping that Matt would see the exchange. In the back of her mind she felt the same way.

"I have to go find Opie but Tommy will stay here to make sure nothing goes down for mom." Jax responded as Becca and Tommy approached. He turned to her and said, "Watch both of them I don't like the the Feds being around."

"You got it." Tommy answered not knowing the back story but figured it had to be something worry some for Jax to be so up in arms.

"Thanks. I will see you soon okay." Another kiss was all she was given before he backed away giving Hanna one more kiss before putting her back in Tara's arms.

"Okay." She said as she watched him walk away and into the gym. Turning to Becca while Tommy went over to his mom, she said, "So you two are back together."

"Don't give me that look. You know the effects of the Teller charm. I didn't have a chance." Tara could only smile before hearing Gemma call out orders for Becca and she to put Hanna in the playpen and help.

Helping with the chili was better than anything else she could have done. It helped take her mind off of the situation at hand. Matt was no where in sight but she could still feel that someone was here. She realized that maybe her instincts were telling her that Matt was following her to see what she was up with. Maybe he was the one who was following her but then she realized that her rapist was still in town waiting for her. Elvis or Bobby took her mind off these thoughts as he came up to the booth with Tig following close behind asking "Have you seen Jax?"

"No but he was with Opie. Why?" Gemma answered as Tara and Becca both kept their ears open to hear the conversation.

"Boss called us back in." Bobby explained as Gemma groaned with annoyance. "Tommy is suppose to stay and make sure that nothing happens.

"I am going to kill Clay." She declared as both Becca and Tara giggled at the threat while knowing how empty it was and how often it was used.

Unser approached the booth grabbing a bowl of chili for himself while hitting Gemma back with equally sarcastic comments. It was quite an exchange but nothing the two women hadn't seen before. Just then Gemma's eyes caught something and Tara could see the curiosity grow before she asked, "Who's that behind the grill?"

"That is one of the two lovely federal agents taking over my precinct. Agent Kohn." Unser scoffed out as he took a bite of chili.

"He's grilling sausages?" Gemma asked in that tone that only she could create. It was a mixture of disbelief and sarcasm.

"Special Federal training. His partner is lurking around here somewhere. Asking a lot of question about Tara." Hearing her name she immediately looked at the chief with questioning eyes.

"Yeah we were together for a while in Chicago. Didn't end well." Throwing a glass vase at his head was a minor detail she was omitting from the discussion but she decided that only Becca needed to know that.

"I'll make sure the two of them stay in line." He assured her as he slowly walked away.

"Here are the boys you girls hold the fort down for a minute." Gemma had that face she made whenever she was preparing to put someone in their place.

Tara actually felt sorry for Jax in that minute because he would most likely receive either a pissed off threat or some type of physical slap. Becca and she kept their eyes on the exchange and Tara was correct as Gemma stopped Jax in his tracks. Becca saw that they were looking in the same direction and asked, "Are they looking at that Kohn guy?"

"I think so." She was a little surprised at the look on Jax's face. He looked to be slowly putting on his protective facade while staring down the agent who wore sun glasses over his eyes. She decided that this guy had somehow made him feel threatened and that meant he would be up in arms until Matt and Kohn were gone.

It didn't last long as the rest of SAMCRO disappeared while Gemma returned to the booth saying, "Looks like that agent Kohn guy was at the hospital last night. ATF is getting personal."

"Oh shit." Tara groaned as she realized what that meant. Jax was right, the guy at the hospital was not her rapist but it did mean that he was making this personal.

This wasn't going to end well and most likely wouldn't disappear quickly. All of this was just adding to her shit pile that was continuously growing. She only hoped that Matt didn't try and interfere out of anger about her current situation. That night Tommy, Becca, and Tara stayed together. The two of them spent most of their time sucking face while Tara held the sleeping Tara. Jax called as they were walking to her car telling her that he was on his way to her house. Tommy and Becca followed her until she saw her driveway where Jax was waiting for her. With a smile she pulled the sleeping Hanna and listened as Tommy's bike disappear in the distance.

"Tough night?" Tara asked as she saw the exhaustion on his face.

"Nope just had some club shit to deal with." Jax answered as he picked Hanna up and kissed her on the side of her head. "How about you?"

"Nothing really happened." She replied as she opened the door and let him in.

"Good but if anyone comes after you don't hesitate either call me or the clubhouse." Nodding she started down towards her room as Jax headed to Hanna's room. These were times she enjoyed. When they could pretend for a few moments that they were a normal family.

REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 10

**Next Chapter! Enjoy and Review.**

"Wake up." Jax whispered into her ear as she slowly slipped from her deep sleep.

"No go back to sleep." She said as she lightly pushed his face away from her neck as he placed small kissed along her neck and exposed shoulder.

"I can't I have to go to work." He answered as he left a few more kisses on her neck before moving so he could take her mouth.

"Don't go." Tara groaned as she felt Jax's warmth leave her bed.

"I have to." Jax replied as she watched him move around the room grabbing his clothes that had been tossed in the corner. "But I will be back later today."

"I have to go in. Dr. Nameed is checking Abel to see how his recovery is coming along." Tara said as she finally opened her eyes and peeked while Jax pulled on his clothes. "You should just toss your shit here instead of at the clubhouse."

"You want me to move in?" Jax teased as he sat back down on the bed.

"Until your house is ready." Tara amended as she didn't want to take this relationship too fast but having him around was starting to grow on her. Besides it insured that he got the most time with Hanna before the new baby came home.

"Then you can move in with me." Jax offered as he leaned forward to take her lips with his own.

"I don't know this bed is pretty comfortable." Tara teased as she burrowed herself deeper into the mattress while keeping her eyes on his.

"Gemma got a new mattress and from what she told me it is high quality." She knew what he was trying to do. The innocent drop of information that he thought she needed. How he wanted her to erase the memory of Wendy from that house. To show her that it was only his now.

"We'll see." Tara replied as she lightly dragged her hand down his chest before fisting the plaid fabric in her hands while placing a kiss on his lips one more time before saying, "I'll see you later."

"Bye, call if you need me at all. If I don't pick up then call Tommy." Nodding he went in for one more kiss before finally heading out.

Work was slow, as always. She tried to visit Abel was much as possible but she always had to leave. Her connection was as strong as anyone could have with a child but in the back of her mind she had to remind herself that it wasn't the same. She was not his mother. All she could be was a presence in his life. It was up to Jax how she would be included in that life but it didn't change the fact that Tara felt the same draw to him that she had with Hanna.

"Dr. Knowles an Agent Matt Cane is asking for you." A nurse interrupted her thoughts and she reanalyzed what the nurse had said. Then she knew what she needed to do. She couldn't run anymore. It was time to face him and finally let him have the discussion he has been wanting.

Seeing him face to face was difficult but all the feelings she had towards him were gone. Jax had been given any extra feelings that she held back during their prior years. She would never wish for Matt to be back with her again. He was no longer a love in her life. Their past was only memories that she created while Jax and she grew up.

"Can we talk?" He asked as soon as she approached him.

"Yeah." She pointed towards an empty waiting room and led the way for him to follow. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for hurting you. What I did to you was unfair." She was actually shocked at his comment.

"Thank you that means a lot." Tara was a little shocked at how calm she was being. She never thought that he would apologize.

"There are two things I want to know however. Is he good to you?" It was a simple question but one Tara knew was so much more powerful than anyone else could understand.

"He is the greatest man I have ever known." He was her constant. The one who always loved her no matter what. Even when she cut him out of her life to find her own dreams he was still there. Whenever she wanted to give up, she kept thinking of how he let her go. He pushed her on that bus all those years ago to ensure that she received the education he believe she deserved. She would always think of that day and his sacrifice to lead her forward.

"Are you sure this is the life you want for your daughter?" His question hit her deeper than she thought he ever could reach.

"He is the best father any person could ask for. Don't think you are any better than he is. At least I know what he does when he is gone. You on the other hand I have no idea who you are." Tara replied as she looked him up and down again. Standing in front of her, he looked out of place in his blue button up shirt and dark washed jeans with his badge hanging off his hip. She thought that she may be around people in leather and scrubs a little too much. "Was that your second question?"

"No I wanted to ask what happened to us?" She stood there for a moment not understanding what he was hoping for.

"What?" She asked trying to decipher what he was saying.

"Everything about us should have worked but then all of sudden you disconnected. It was as if you switch me off completely." He voice cracked slightly and she felt defensive all of a sudden.

"Are you blaming my distance for you cheating. If you wanted to fuck some other woman than you could have just broken up with me. Instead you let me walk in on you and her." Tara shot back immediately. She was not going to be taking any of his shit. There was no chance in hell that the fault of his infidelity would fall on her back.

"No it is my fault but you can't blame me. Ever since your miscarriage it was if I didn't matter any more. I lost a child too." Shaking her head she couldn't believe he was even going there. She only told him about it because she needed to have a procedure to assist in the removal. Becca was too busy with school and he was the only one who could pick her up.

"Don't bring that up please." She asked under her breathe as she pinched her nose feeling the memories rise in her mind. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I lost a child too." He replied as he threw up his hands seemingly not understanding that vulnerability that she was feeling at that moment. "You are selfish if you think you were the only one feeling anything. I mourned for it also."

"It wasn't yours to mourn for." Tara replied as she realized a minute later what she had done. She hoped that he took this information any other direction than what the truth was.

"What does that mean?" Her hopes were diminished in that question.

"That child wasn't yours to mourn." She was quick to answer as she turned to her face so she couldn't face him.

"Did you sleep with someone else? Did you cheat on me?" He asked both questions in a single breathe. His eyes were hurt but Tara didn't feel bad for him. She didn't speak for a second just to see the hurt grow behind his brown eyes.

"No I didn't." She paused for a moment seeing the confusion in his eyes. "While you were undercover I was raped."

"What?" When the words registered, he acted as if he was shot. His body catapulted backwards and he fell into the chair in shock. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"There was nothing left of him. I know what happens in a rape kit. There wasn't any trace evidence. I didn't want to put myself through that. He put me in the shower after and then filled me full with some drugs that made me pass out. I slept for a day straight. He even changed the sheets. Nothing could come from that." Tara explained as she sat down directly across from him but made sure she was looking away.

"Do you remember anything about the guy?" She actually laughed at his question. How crazy it sounded. Like that was a detail that she had forgotten.

"No I only saw his eyes." She replied as that image crossed her mind. Those blue eyes stared at her as they tore through her own while his breath hit her face making her gag.

"You should have told me." He demanded as he looked at her and she felt like she was being scolded as if she was a child who had done something wrong.

"Yeah well we both did things that we shouldn't have done." Tara's voice was bitter as she glared at him before realizing that she needed to make her rounds. Both of them stood and she motioned for him to leave. "I have to go back to work and I suggest you do the same. I mean you are going after the Sons and we both know you don't have shit on them."

"Call your Old Man. Tell him that there is going to be raid on his place in a few hours. One of Stockton's ATF agents is in the process of getting one." Matt said as he slowly slipped away and left her there alone.

"Fuck." She whispered as she grabbed her phone out of her pocket and dialed his number. She let it ring as she realized what was happening.

"Hey is everything alright?" Jax's voice was immediate as she could hear the stress in his voice.

"Matt just stopped by and told me that there is going to be a raid on the clubhouse in a few hours. They are trying to get the warrant as we speak." Tara made sure to keep it quick and easy. She even called on his prepay to make sure there was nothing to track. It was the first thing Gemma told her the minute that Jax and she became serious in high school.

"Why would he tell you that?" Jax was confused as she could hear the chaos developing in the background.

"I told him the truth and as he was leaving he dropped the bomb." Tara explained as she looked up at the clock and saw that her shift was almost over.

"Alright thanks for the info." Jax replied as they both said goodbye before hanging up. Walking back towards the NICU she was shocked to see someone in Abel's incubation chamber.

"Excuse me but you can't be in here?" She tried to politely tell the man of his inappropriate presence in the room but was shocked to see that he was wearing sunglasses over his eyes.

"I am sorry but I just lost a child a year ago." He replied as he turned to face her. "It's wrong that this little boy will live a life of crime while my own never received the ability to live."

Looking the man up and down she recognized him as being the ATF agent who working at the Police booth at the Taste of Charming. "I am sorry for your loss but only family and medical personnel are allowed in here."

"It's okay I was just leaving. I just wanted to see the son before I took down the father." His voice gave her the chills as he passed her. She wanted to see his eyes but his sunglasses stayed glued to his face and suddenly he was gone and she was left to finish her shift with those words on her mind.

Her phone rang as she picked up Hanna's carrier from the daycare. "Hello?"

"Hi Tara this is David. I just wanted to tell you that Gemma was arrested and I think you are going to need to come bail her out." David's voice was quick on the other side of the line as white noise filled the background.

"Okay I am on my way." Getting in the car she was quick to pull up to the police department and grabbed Hanna from her car seat placing her securely on her hip.

Walking in she was amazed at the activity happening in the sleepy town's department. Her few stints in the Charming's Police department jail told her that there was no way that Gemma would want to stay the night there. She was happy that David gave her the call when she looked in and saw Clay sitting in the interrogation room.

"Excuse me but you can't be here." A woman in her mid thirties with too much makeup and the harshest brown eyes approached her with a flare that told her that she held too much power for her ego to handle.

"Yeah, no I am actually here to bail out Gemma Morrow." Tara replied as she held her own stance.

"Leave her alone. Come here Tara, Gemma is back in the cells. You know where that is." Hale said as he gave her a little smile trying to ease the tension.

"You must be good old Dr. Tara Knowles. I have heard a lot." Agent Stahl replied looking her up and down before glancing at Hanna. "This must be Jax Teller's daughter then?"

"You would be correct." Tara answered as she stepped past the woman and headed back to the cells where she had either picked up her father after a drunken binge or slept off one herself.

"Tara." David smiled at her and as she glanced over she saw both Matt and the other agent looking at her. She caught sight of his eyes but she couldn't full see them. Some of the iris was blocked by skin overlapping the eye lid. It showed his age. In that moment her fear arose. She realized that she recongized those sags. In the same room as all of the law enforcement available were she was faced with the monster who raped her but she couldn't say a thing. He was a federal agent. That meant without hard evidence she had nothing. There wasn't anything she could do. He was standing five feet away from her.

"Thanks for the call." Tara said as she moved her eyes away from him and looked at Hale detaching herself from the fear building inside. She couldn't act strange to give away her knowing. Hale only smiled as she slipped back into the cells and saw Gemma seated on one of the beds looking upset.

"Gemma?" Approaching her, Tara was happy that she had Hanna there to bring some comfort to Gemma.

"Who called you?" Gemma asked as she looked over the pair.

"Hale. Thought you would want me to bail you out."

"It's okay. I am not feeling too good. A night away from Clay would do me good." Tara had never heard her speak that way. She was a little surprised at the comment but chose to not ask any questions.

"Okay call me if you need anything." Tara offered as she stepped closer giving Gemma the chance to pick up Hanna's hand and give it a kiss.

"Thanks Doc." Winking she went back to her seat on the bed while Tara went back out to her car. Not even glancing at one of the officers. She didn't want to have any type of communication with a single one. Her car squealed as she pulled out of the parking lot trying to get away as fast as possible.

Becca ended up staying the night with her. It was a surprise visit since she had spent the weekend with her parents at their cabin on Lake Tahoe while they tried to heal from the past events. Somewhere she knew that Jax had called Becca and asked her to be with her that night. Becca even gave her a ride to work and took Hanna for the day. Tara couldn't tell her. She had tried multiple times the entire night but didn't know how to form the words. It was weak and pathetic but inside she didn't know how to divulge the information.

At the hospital she fell into her normal routine. Abel and a few other patients received time with her before she was almost finished. It was quick and simple but a day she needed. The entire time she pushed the thought out of her mind and focused on what she could do to save someone. Then Jax walked in and she knew that she had to tell him.

"How did it go?" She asked as she fell into step with him as they walked to Abel's incubation chamber. He was quick to pull her to a corridor that was abandoned. His hands gripped her face as he crashed his lips against hers.

"It went pretty well. We are all clear." He said as he lightly nipped at her bottom lip while showing off her favorite smile of his.

"Good." Tara replied as she slipped her hand in his and stood on her toes to kiss him again. "Feds still on you?"

"Yeah there is one who is crazy. He is following me everywhere. Guys a total nut." Jax explained as he pulled her towards the incubation chamber for a more private setting.

"Which one?" Tara asked not knowing who he was talking about.

"Older guy with grey hair. He's Matt's partner." Jax said as he wrapped her up in his arms.

"Becca has Hanna for the day and also gave me a ride her? Do you think you can give me a ride home?" Tara asked enjoying being with him and also knowing that she needed to tell him somewhere isolated so he didn't try and kill the man with witnesses.

"Of course just come get me when you're ready." Nodding she headed off to change as he walked into the room and sitting down in the rocket to talk with his son.

Coming back she was dressed and ready she suddenly felt horrible at asking him to leave and time away form Abel. "Are you sure I can get someone else to drive me?"

"Of course, I will see him later anyways. Besides we have an empty house for the entire afternoon." His eyebrows wiggled a little as she felt his hand lightly squeeze her left ass cheek.

"Only if you are lucky Teller." She smiled enjoying the fact that her mind was starting to relax.

"I am always lucky with you Knowles." He gave her the same smile back as he lightly pushed her towards the door to the elevator that lead them down to where he parked his bike.

Getting on his bike was the most natural thing for her to do. She felt safe and secure as he revved the engine and pulled the bike out of the parking lot.

**What do you think? Review and tell me what you thought.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I am so sorry about this. I have no idea why but this chapter was so difficult to write. Nothing crazy just took forever for it to make sense and actually fit the story. Work has been crazy and I know I have been horrible. Hopefully you can forgive me and continue reading! Enjoy and Review!**

It was the perfect California day. The sun was shining on them as Jax's bike cut through the empty streets. He of course made sure to take the long route through the hills. She loved being on the back of the bike. Growing up in Charming, the sound of motorcycles were an everyday occurrence. It didn't phase her at all. A group of riders coming down Main street was sounds of her childhood. Sometimes while she was living in Chicago, a group of riders would walk into the emergency room, all the other interns had fear in her eyes but not Tara. Immediately she would approach and ask what the problem was. It was one of those times when an attending picked her up and took her into the operating room for the first time. She was able to watch as he mended a small heart. Immediately she was inspired.

"Here we are." Jax announced as he pulled up next to the Cutlass in the driveway.

"Thanks for the ride." Tara said as she removed the helmet and placing it in the palm of his out stretched hand.

"I can think of a better way to thank me." Smiling, she watched as Jax stepped around his bike and slowly slid his hand down her sides while placing the other on her bum giving it a teasing squeeze.

"Well if I must." Tara sarcastically rolled her eyes before stepping towards the front door pulling his kutte with her.

"Give me a second, I have to go deal with some ass hole who was following us." Jax replied as he laid a small kiss on her lips.

"What?" Tara asked as she looked around the neighborhood but didn't see anything out of usual.

"I think that fed was following us. Matt's partner I think. Probably trying to catch me doing some illegal shit." Jax answer with an annoyed smirk as if he knew that the guy was going to get nothing to help his case.

"He's here?" Tara asked suddenly feeling the fear and anxiety wash over her.

"Yeah in the compact parked down the street. He's been following us since we left the hospital. Asshole has probably been following me all day." Jax's words were no comfort to him because now that Agent knew where she lived. "I'm going to go talk with him. Make sure he understands that you are off limits."

"Um we need to go inside now!" She was sure that if she didn't tell him now, somehow it would come back to bite her in the ass but she didn't want to tell him. If she told him at the moment then there was a good probability that he would go to jail for murder.

"What?" His face moved down as confusion washed over his face. She didn't even allow herself to answer before she pulled the keys out of her bag and walked to the door. "What's wrong I am just going to talk with him?"

"You don't need to talk with him. He isn't going to see anything." Tara was pleading with him but he wasn't buying it and she could see it.

"What the hell is going on? Why are you freaking out?" Jax asked as he stood in front of the door blocking her from entering.

"Let's talk about this inside." Her eyes were diverting in every directions trying to avoid the truth awaiting in his blue eyes.

"Why are you so afraid of the Feds'?" He asked not even listening to her words.

"I can't tell you or you will do something irrational." Tara replied as she was silently begging him to understand and leave the issue alone.

"Just tell me." He demanded and crossed his arms giving him the looks that told her that he wasn't moving anytime soon.

"Yesterday that older fed. Matt's partner was in Abel's incubation chamber. I told him to leave and he did but then after I got a call about Gemma. Hale thought I would want to know so I could bail her out since Clay was being questioned. When I went in, I saw the guy again but this time his sunglasses were off…" She had to pause as she realized what she was about to do. "His eyes."

"What about his eyes?" Jax immediately changed into his protective mode. Tara could feel it radiating off of his skin as he continued to look at her with an expectant glare.

"They are his. It was the only thing I saw that night." And just like that Tara saw the fire burn in his eyes as he realizes what exactly she is implying.

"I am going to kill him." Jax declared as the anger flashed across his face making her cringe at the intensity his blue eyes held.

"Don't go after him. Please he is dangerous." Tara pleaded as she grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards her.

"Go inside and wait for me. I'll be back." Jax demanded as he stepped off the porch and headed towards the car that held the Fed. Tara knew in that moment that Jax would go down for killing a Federal agent.

Time passed slowly as she waited to hear some noise to indicate how badly the show down that was happening at the moment was going. There was only ambient noises from the street before she heard the door open. Looking up Jax stood there looking like a mixture between pissed and angry. "You should have told me immediately."

"You were a little busy at the moment." She recalled remembering all the shit that had gone done the day before.

"I was there before we left the hospital you could have said something then." His sarcasm was thick as he sat down on the couch across from her rubbing his eye as his mind tried to wrap its way around the whole concept.

"I wanted to get you in the correct mood before I told you." In her mind she figured it would best to tell him when he was fully pleasure and made it so he wouldn't be able to leave on the fly.

"You should have called me." He said but in his eyes Tara could see that he wasn't angry at her but pissed at the situation.

"What did you say to him?" Tara asked realizing that she didn't have a clue what had happened during the showdown.

"I told him if he doesn't leave you alone then he will have to answer to me." Grabbing her face, he connected their lips. She reveled in the comfort that this action gave her. Her body almost melted into his body with an ease that can only come from trust. She knew he would protect her. He had done it before.

"Thank you." Tara whispered as she let her head rest on his chest feeling the thumping of his heart against the sensitive skin of her ear.

"I have to go do something but I will see you later at the hospital." Jax offered as she nodded in agreement before asking a question.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go talk to Hale." It hit her like a ton of bricks on why he wanted to go talk with him.

"Don't tell him or else everyone in Charming will know." She didn't want anyone to know. He didn't deserve the satisfaction to know that he had pushed himself into her life. She had gotten through it already. While she was pregnant she had become slightly depressed and after speaking to a counselor for months she realized what was wrong. He didn't deserve the happiness that her pain gave him. Coming back to Charming was a way for her to take control of her life once again.

"I will just tell him the need to know facts. Basically that the son of a bitch is crazy as fuck and needs to get out of town immediately." Sealing his promise with a kiss he headed out the door leaving her alone. "Go get Hanna and see mom. We both know she has enough fire power at her place to put anyone down."

"Okay but I have a shift tonight so Hanna is going to sleep over at your moms place." Nodding she gave him one last kiss as he stepped over the threshold and back out towards his bike,

Tara and Jax both relaxed physically when Hale informed them that Kohn and Matt officially headed back to Chicago from orders of their superiors. Hale tried to put her at ease but there was still lingering fear as she crashed at Gemma's place when she got off at three in the morning. Gemma had always offered her Jax's old room when ever she picked up the baby late but she always however she didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to be driving around at three thirty at night on her way to clubhouse. Gemma's was closer and easier. Besides Tara liked to wake up in the same house as Hanna.

"Hey sweetheart how are you feeling?" Gemma asked as if she could see the fear and fatigue in Tara's eyes that she was desperately trying to hide from everyone. Clay had left early that morning and that left only the two of them seeing how Jax had texted her that he was crashing at the clubhouse after an intense day with the club.

"Okay just the fifteen hour shifts are starting to get to me." Her body was wobbly and she knew that having her day off today was the best decision she could make.

"Why don't you come over to the house. See what I have done in Hanna's room. I think you will like it." Tara in the back of her mind knew what Gemma was trying to do. She wanted Tara to see the house and realize that it was no longer Wendy's. She had a feeling that Gemma wanted to push Tara into moving in with Jax but Tara wasn't going to give in that easily. They needed to take it slow because two children were involved.

"Okay." Tara replied knowing she wasn't going to get out of it.

Stepping in to the house was strange for her. She couldn't imagine Jax owning a house. However she did see him putting down the money to insure that his child had a house over their head. Gemma did an amazing job at making it a home and it seemed to fall more towards Jax's style than her own.

"It looks amazing." Tara proclaimed as she place Hanna on her hip and looked around the living room.

"Thanks I tried to make sure that there was more of Jax than that Junkie Bitch left here." Smiling a smile Tara knew too well, she saw the glint in Gemma's eye before she said, " I think I put you in here also."

"What do you mean?" Tara was skeptical as she glanced Gemma before following where her eyes were pointed at. Hanging on the wall was a pictures of Jax, Hanna, and Tara all across the mantle and wall. One of the bigger pictures was of Abel in the incubator and Tara standing in front of the chamber smiling down at him.

"When did you take that?" She asked looking at Gemma not knowing what to say. For hating each other while she was dating Jax for the first time all those years ago, Gemma really was wanting to put her in her own family quickly.

"A few days after the surgery. You were too busy working but I thought it would be a good moment to get." Smiling at her, Tara felt touched at the thought.

"Come on let me get your advice on the nursery." Gemma motioned for her to follow her through the hallway. Looking around it was weird to think this was Jax's house. The only contact she had with him since she returned was either at the clubhouse, Gemma's place, or her own house. It was confusing to think that he actually owned a house alone. He was never one for wanting to invest in any type of thing besides the club.

"Do you smell that?" Gemma asked as a whiff of stale urine filled Tara's nose. She knew that smell immediately from the hours she spent in the hospital. It was one of the reason why she vowed only to work with infants. They had no choice but to pee in a diaper but changing bed pans was not something she wanted to experience again.

"Someone peed. Did Wendy have a cat or something?" Tara asked wondering if there was any explanation that had a plausible explanation.

"No." Opening the nursery door, she saw that everything was scattered. The crib had been turned upside down and Tara could see the wet spot on the dark blue carpet. "What the fuck!"

Looking around she saw what she knew was his way of putting fear back into her life. Pictures were taped on the wall. Tears welled in her eyes as she spotted the pictures. They were scattered across the wall showing different parts of Tara's body. All of them were her, she knew for a fact but it never showed her face. No one would know that it was her apartment that was back drop for the center of his art work. What was worse was the fact that some of Jax's pictures seemed to be the boarder with his face crossed out in all of them.

"I'm calling Jax. He needs to find the son of a bitch that did this and teach him a lesson." Gemma steamed as Tara walked out of the room and pulled Hanna closer.

"What the hell is going on?" Jax asked as he stepped over the threshold and took in the sight of Tara who seemed to be lost in her own world while his mother had her typical glare when something she had done was screwed up by outside sources.

"Someone broke in and trashed Abel's nursery. The bastard even peed on the floor." Gemma said as she followed behind him as he walked into his son's room.

Jax immediately looked at the pictures on the wall and was confused. The ones he recognized were his own that he had in the apartment but the others were unfamiliar. At least they were until he spotted something that belonged to him. It was his mark that only one person had. His crow, that he had watched her get when he was eighteen was slightly covered but still evident on the pale skin. He whispered in a deadly tone stating, "He's dead."

"Who was it?" Gemma asked not aware of the revelation her son just had.

"The Fed." Was all he said as he walked out of the room, gave Tara and Hanna both a kiss before he left the house in a blob of blonde hair and black leather.

"Why did the fed break in?" Gemma asked as she sat down on the couch looking at Tara. "Was it Matt?"

"No he is back in Chicago but that Kohn agent and Jax had a bit of a showdown yesterday. Apparently he had been following us all day." Tara skirted around the truth but kept the basics correct so as to not throw Gemma any type of suspicious explanation.

"Come with me, you can help me clean this up." Gemma stated as she picked Hanna up and placed her in the pack and play that had been around for Abel and Hanna to both use.

Hours passed before the room was back to its original state. Gemma had dropped her off back at her car when the sun was starting to set. She headed to the grocery store for a few items that she needed before she headed home. Pulling up to the drive she saw Jax waiting for her with a cigarette in hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I had a rough day." Jax stated as he grimaced standing while taking Hanna from her arms. "Hello there baby."

"Why don't you go inside while I get the groceries." Tara offered as she handed off her keys and went towards the trunk where the bags were stored. She watched Jax limp into the house before heading to the car to get the backs.

Walking in she saw that Jax had already readied a bottle for Hanna was a holding her in his arms as she drank greedily from the bottle. "You look so much like your mom." She heard Jax whisper as she walked through the door and started to put away the groceries.

"She may look like me but she is another version of you. She gets everyone to fall in love with her with just one look of those eyes." Tara replied a she started to put the items away as Jax placed Hanna on his shoulder to burp. "Don't forget a towel unless you want to get throw up on your kutte."

"She would never throw up on me." Jax declared as he gave the baby's back one more pat earning him a powerful burp that relieved the baby for the night. "She loves me too much."

"I bet but do you want to put her to bed or have me do it?" She asked as she put away the milk finishing the task and looking at Jax once again.

"I will but first I have to tell you something." Jax said waiting for any sign that she wanted him to stop but she only nodded for him to go on. "I beat the shit out of Kohn today. Put him through a window today and he stabbed me with a pair of scissors. I got out of it but that Fed Agent Bitch was there was said that apparently a warrant for Kohn's arrest was just filed yesterday for the rape of another woman. I watched him leave. He is gone."

Covering her mouth Tara felt as if she could breath for the first time in hours. He was gone and he was being brought up on charges. He had been caught.

"Thank you." Tara exclaimed as she grabbed him in her arms and gave him a searing kiss. "You don't know what this means to me."

"I love you." Jax said breaking the kiss long enough to mutter those words for her to hear.

"I love you too." Tara replied giving him another kiss as Hanna happily babbled to herself from the spot in Jax's arms but made sure to grip her mother's hair in her fist to chew on the ends. For that night they were a family who's problems were slowly becoming fixed.


	12. Chapter 12

I feel like you as the audience would appreciate this more than anyone in my own life. So I was having the hardest time writing the last chapter. I was having some serious writers block. I actually live about an hour and a half away from the where Sons of Anarchy is set. It was one thing that brought me into the show originally. I work in a mall for a store and while on my break (eating in the food court) I saw a group of motorcycle club members with their leather, patches, and pissed off expression walk right by the food court. Instantly my mind started to work and two days later I posted Old Bones. Here is the Pull I hope you enjoy.

Tara made sure that she was at the hospital the entire day to wait and see if Dr. Nameed would release Abel tonight. She was a little disappointed that she had to assist on the surgery that would take her away from Abel for most of the day but she also felt the sense of duty to continue her quest at saving every child she could touch.

"Great job in there Tara. I think if you keep putting in the hours you will be board certified within the next year." Dr. Nameed stated as he walked towards the NICU where he would examine Abel.

"Thanks Jim it means a lot." She replied as they reach the chamber room where it was empty at the moment. Gemma must have picking Hanna up at the day care.

"Why don't you do the honors." Dr. Nameed insisted as he opened the chamber and motioned for Tara to pick up Abel. Before this only nurses were allowed to change his diaper but were told never to pick him up. Too much movement may have injured his delicate frame but now with the weight he's gained his body was more stable.

Feeling the familiar weight of the newborn in her arms Tara smiled down at the face so similar to the man she loved. She always appreciated the fact that when looking at Abel she wasn't reminded of the fact that he wasn't her son. Wendy had been the one to create him with Jax. She was never upset since Jax and she had created Hanna together but there was still something inside her that felt disappointed at the realization. She would not be the one to give Jax all of his children. Abel was special but her mind always corrected her own heart's mistakes. He wasn't hers to love. Jax had to be the one to decide.

"Everything looks perfect. If the father is here then we should be able to let him hold him for as long as he wishes." Dr. Nameed answer the unasked question as he turned and walked out of the room leaving Tara alone.

"Can you ask Mrs. Morrow if the father is here yet and let me know when he does arrive." Tara asked looking down at Abel making surn that he was comfortable.

"Yes of course." The nurse said as she watched her walk out of the room leaving Tara alone with Abel.

"Hey buddy." Tara whispered as she heard Abel moan slightly at the new feeling of being held for a long period of time. "I'm Tara, a friend of your daddy's."

Situating herself so she could look at Abel completely she was happy to see a content look on the baby's face. Thinking of Jax she whispered into Abel's ear, "You want me to tell you a secret."

There was no reply but a small yawn from Abel as he just looked up at her with his blue eyes. "Okay, your daddy pretends he is a big bad biker who isn't afraid of anything but truthfully he is really scared of you. So don't be mad at first but I know once he get the hang of the whole single parent thing he will be the best. And I want you to always know that even though I didn't give birth to you if will always be in your life. Hanna maybe mine but you two are brother and sister. If you need anything just tell me."

"Mrs. Morrow is here and so is Mr. Teller." Nodding at the nurse she headed out to where they would be waiting. Keeping Abel as calm as she could she only hoped that he would not cry once he was placed in his father's arms.

It was silent as she locked eyes with Jax who seemed unsure as his hands slipped into his pockets as he gave her that timid smile that gave away the nerves running through his mind. The doubt he was feeling was evident on her face as she allowed herself to release her grip on the small body and release him into the care of his father.

"This is the second time you have done this." Gemma commented as she passed Hanna over to Tara so she could properly inspect Abel.

"It's becoming a tradition." Tara spoke as she gave Hanna a small kiss listening to the baby babble coming from her mouth. "You want to see your little brother?"

Jax seemed to understand what she was thinking and angled Abel so Hanna could easily look at her newest sibling. "That's Abel, he's your brother."

"I'll be in the waiting room if you need me."Gemma said excusing herself from the moment that was happening in front of her.

"He looks good in your arms." Tara spoke as she took in the scene in front of her. Jax was slowly lowering himself so he could sit while he looked over his son. Deep within her she was split in half. Suddenly seeing Jax this way meant that there would always be someone in his life. Wendy was in this no matter what happened.

"Thanks I don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough for this." Jax was sincere as he glanced over at Hanna and Tara smiling looking as if his would break in half.

"It's my job and besides Teller men seem to have a special pull on my heart." Tara answered before her pager went off disturbing the quiet. "Duty calls. I'll have your mom come back in here."

"I'll stop by once you are off."There was something in his eyes that gave her a confused feeling. She saw love in his eyes. Immediately upon arriving, she knew that she had never stopped loving Jax but she couldn't see it in his eyes as intensely as it appeared during their beginning years.

Leaving Charming had been a hard decision for her. Diane was pressuring Tara to go to college even though the years prior she had been lost in her own selfish mind. She had been accepted and even told Jax she had decided to stay with him. Getting into the University of Pacific that is located in close by Stockton. There was more scholarship money to cover the higher tuition but in the end both schools were on the same level.

What made her decision was after a huge fight between Jax and she, both went their separate ways declaring they were finished. The next morning she walked into an empty clubhouse and when she made it to the back she saw Jax making out with a disgusting croweater. She never even said a word, all she did was turn around and head back home. Two days later she graduated and then moved in with Adele for the summer. The excuse she used to explain her choice to leave Charming was that a she wanted to get a well paying job before she headed down to San Diego. Jax called for weeks before she finally picked up.

"Where the hell are you?" His voice demanded as she stood in the middle of Adele's kitchen located in the bustling San Francisco. Her apartment was located only five minutes from Hasting's Law School in the heart of the city.

"I am staying with Adele for the summer." Tara replied monotone trying to reel in her emotions so they didn't protrude through her facade.

"Why the hell are you doing that?" Jax asked letting his frustrations show through the other line.

"I need to save up as much money as possible for school." Tara answered as she picked at her nail in order to distract herself from the emotions boiling inside.

"Why couldn't you get a job in Charming. I mean you are getting a huge scholarship so you don't need too much." She couldn't even control herself as she scoffed lightly.

"I am not going to U of P." Her answer was short knowing he was becoming more frustrated.

"Enlighten me on where you are going?" Jax demanded.

"San Diego." Another short answer knowing that he would be fuming that if it was possible flames and smoke would be escaping from his ears.

"Why are you going there?" It was a sound of disgust that made her emotions flare.

"Well I figured it would be good for me to get away from you. I mean you obviously got over me quite quickly after our little fight. You even found yourself someone new to open their legs for you too." And that was it. All that could be heard was silence as she heard without a sound that Jax realized he had lost her. "Goodbye Jax."

Those were their complete conversation. The next time the two of them would ever speak was when she had sat alone in their apartment. Becca had went back to Charming to see Tommy again. It must have been fate that forced Jax to finally ask her where Tara was. To ask the two most specific, what was her address and was she still engaged. Once he got those answers he drove the miles and showed up on her doorstep. She was shocked but in that moment she saw happiness. A love that was still there.

"What are you thinking about?" Gemma asked when came behind her after she spent some quality grandma time with Abel.

"Just how crazy this situation is." Opening her arms she was happy to have Hanna placed in her arms.

"It is the life." Gemma sighed as she looked down at her phone seeing that her phone was vibrating. "Are you almost off?"

"Yeah I just finished my paperwork, why?" She asked looking at the urgency in her eyes.

"Club shit but I think you should get changed and follow me. I am betting your skills will be needed." Gemma quickly took Hanna back into her arms and motioned for her to go get changed. "I will meet you outside."

"You know Gemma, usually when someone becomes Mob Doc, they get paid for it. I haven't seen a dime." Tara joked making sure that her tone was lighthearted.

"Too bad that the Sons of Anarchy are a motorcycle club." Rolling her eyes, Tara only laughed as she made her way to the lockerroom.

"Where did you guys get an ambulance?" For some reason it was the first question that popped in her brain when she saw the group of men huddled around outside of St. Thomas' ambulance.

"We had to borrow it." Tig answered as he passed her looking as if he was ready to kill.

"Why is she here?" Jax asked as he came out from the back of the ambulance looking disheveled and torn.

"She's a doctor and let's face it Chibs can't handle it." Clay answered as he wrapped his arms around Gemma.

"Let me have a look." Tara said taking control and climbing in where Juice was seated to get a better look.

"It nicked an artery." Chibs continued to explain his assessment as he tried to control the bleeding.

"Let me get my bag and see what I have. We are going to need a flat surface to work on." All of sudden SAMCRO worked together as they moved the Irish into the clubhouse and on the reaper table.

Coming in, Tara did an assessment of what she had and realized she was going to have enough to extract the bullets and ensure that he wouldn't bleed out but she didn't have the quantity to ensure that everything would stay stable.

Everything took about an hour if that. Chibs, Juice, and her worked together and were able to extract the bullets and stop the blood flow. The only difficulty was that she had low supplies. "I think everything should be fine. Leave him here, he is under some light medication that is keeping him sedated. I have to go to the house and grab some more supplies but he should make it through."

The entire club relaxed as she explained everything to them. Walking towards Gemma, she said, "I have to go home but just put Hanna in her carrier to sleep. She should be fine in the apartment."

"Jax is in the room. Do you want me to get him?" Gemma asked looking back at the hallway where the clubhouse was located.

"No I should be too long." Tara replied as she grabbed her bag and made her way out to the car. There were bits of blood on her clothes but it didn't really affect her. She would just change while she was home and soak the shirt with some solution.

Unlocking her door, she relished the silence that she was welcomed with. In the hall closet, she opened the cabinet and pulled out the extra supplies relieved to see that there was a good amount of supplies left over. Tossing it on the couch, she headed over towards the bedroom to change.

Stepping into the room something felt off but she chose to ignore it. Her shirt was off as quickly as she could get it. Just then she felt a hand reach around her neck and someone slam her into the dresser. Everything was chaotic as she struggled against the person but suddenly she realized who it was. The smell was familiar. It was a musk that made her want to throw up. Memories were attached to this as she realized who it was.

"Get off of me!"She screamed as she rammed her elbow into Kohn's groin making him let go for a second. Just enough time for her to move away from his grip and reach into her bedside table. Grabbing the gun her grip was lost as his hand took control.

It was a wrestle, and then a shot rang out.

Noise was heard as Jax entered the house. She was suppose to be back already. The door opened and what he saw almost broke his heart. She was sitting with her back against the bed. Blood was all over her as she sat there with her hand still gripping the gun. Her eyes shot up as soon as he stepped. "Tara?"

"Is he dead?" Tara asked her voice small as she finally voiced the idea that had been rattling her brain since the tripper was pressed.

"What?" Jax asked as he finally looked over the bed and saw the dead fed on the floor in a pool of his own blood. "Did he?"

Tara nodded as she felt her emotions run wild. "He tried but he didn't get to."

She could see the relief on his face but it was only shortly lived as he knelt down to look at her and the fear that was etched on her face. "Let's get you changed and then we can spend the night at the clubhouse."

Nodding she allowed him to guide her towards the other room while grabbed a few clothes for her to change tomorrow. "I will clean this up tomorrow."

She was silent as she allowed him to clean her up before helping her into her clothes. He was gentle and understanding as he guided her out to the car and followed her the entire way home. Once getting to the clubhouse he watched as she immediately put her Doctor mask on in order to finish the job she started. Getting her to bed was easy as he promised that Hanna was safe in the apartment. Together they laid in bed and he did everything that he could to make her feel safe. Making love seemed to be the only thing in the end that put her to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**It has been a while I know. School started and life got in the way. This is the final chapter of the season and the last one for awhile. I kind of lost my want to write because there hasn't been any new inspiration. I hope you all are enjoying the season. Abel is a badass. Enjoy the final chapter**

Tara was lost in her own thoughts as she looked over different charts of her patients. One of the reasons why she chose neonatal was because she knew how hard Tommy's death was on Gemma. She constantly feared that Jax, who had been born with the same heart defect, would be lost to that also. Tara's goal was to one day be able to fix small hearts to save another family from that heart break. She wanted to give a mother something that Gemma never received.

"You alright baby?" Gemma asked as she came up from the elevator startling Tara out of her deep thoughts.

"Yeah just thinking about the day I brought Hanna home." Tara replied as she continued to fill out paperwork on other patients.

"I bet you had an easy night. When I brought Jax home he cried for three hours straight. The next night however he slept almost four hours so I could never complain after that." Gemma smiled at the memory.

"Hanna had a very similar night her first night. I almost broke down crying myself." Tara cringed at the memory. How scared she was that night. The fear of every mistake she could make. A fear of being a horrible mother.

"Well you are lucky I don't think she will be as wild as Jax was. I never knew what that boy was going to do and I still don't know." Wendy had walked back into their lives once again. All of sudden Tara was questioning her relationship with him again. Hearing Gemma's comment only made her question him even more. She was staying at his house while Jax was crashing with Tara. Soon however Jax would move back in and that was where her questions were coming from. Wendy even starting making appearances in the hospital for feeding time. Tara felt herself being pushed out all of a sudden.

"I am going to go pick up the little guy." Gemma stated as she headed back to the nursery.

Tara had been leaning against the nurse's station filling out some paper work for the final part of her rounds. A few of the nurses were including her in on the conversation at hand. One of the patients was dope up on some heavy medication and was proposing to all the nurses. She couldn't help but laugh as they recounted their own experiences.

"I heard your favorite patient is finally going home." Aaron commented as he approached Tara.

"Dr. Nameed is getting him ready as we speak. His dad should be here any minute." Tara replied as she gave him a small smile.

"I still can't believe they let that woman back in here. She almost killed that baby." Aaron threw out as both of them leaned against the desk.

"She was an addict. She wasn't thinking straight." She countered as she continued to fill out paperwork that was mind numbing most of the time.

"Doesn't excuse her for what she did." Aaron replied as he tried to get her to make eye contact but Tara knew that if she didn't get this done immediately they would be late. "What does it say that the father would let her back in."

"He's giving her a chance and that is what she deserves. That baby should know who his mother is." Tara replied in an emotionless voice as she hid her agreement. It wasn't her choice. All she could do was support Jax's decision and know that if she was in her position she would wish someone would understand also. "Besides he is a good father. I should know. He is Hanna's father."

"Oh shit sorry I didn't know." He tried I apologize but Tara knew not to take it personally. Wendy would always be questioned about her parenting. Hell, even Tara herself questioned how Wendy would be later on but the mother inside her told her that no matter what Abel would always be hers.

"It's okay. It is a good question to ask." Tara gave him an assuring smile as she continued to fill out reports for her patients.

"Dr. Knowles!" Dr. Nameed called as he approached with Gemma who was holding the baby and had a huge smile on her face. It was the same look she had whenever she held Hanna. Her legacy was continuing with a greater strength as her son had more children but she just hoped that he made the right decision on to who was to have those children.

"Doctor." She nodded as she gave Gemma a small smile. Just then the elevator opened to reveal Jax and Wendy together. Jax quickly took Abel out of his mother's arms. "Is he ready to go?"

"Yes he is all clear." Dr. Nameed paused for a moment while glancing over at Tara. "I would like to introduce you to Dr. Aaron Ramsey; he was one of the doctor's that helped with your son's case. He is one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons in California."

Jax turned to see the young doctor and reached out his hand in a kind offering. "Thanks so much for your help."

"It was nothing actually Dr. Knowles came up with the idea on how to do both surgeries safely. I only supervised." Tara blushed before grabbing the file she had been working on and passing it over to Dr. Nameed. "Your son was lucky to have her."

"All of us are lucky to have her." Dr. Nameed commented as he looked over the baby one more time seeing the proof that miracles do happen. Jax and Wendy both seemed mesmerized by the baby and beaming with pride towards each other.

"Here you go Doctor." She explained as she quickly moved her eyes over the family moment Wendy and Jax were having and turned back to Aaron and Dr. Nameed. "I have to go change."

"You are on call tonight as well as I so keep your phone with you." Dr. Nameed said as he started down a hallway but turned back looking at Wendy and Jax who looked like the perfect little family. "Good luck to you two, the first night is always the hardest."

"Thanks Doctor." Wendy smiled as Jax looked over to Tara who was hiding her emotions behind the mask that she had perfected over the years.

"Don't forget Tara and also tell your parents I say congratulation. Make sure she stays out of trouble Aaron." Tara laughed as she watched the Doctor disappear in a crowd of people.

"I thought you were coming tonight?" Jax asked as everyone suddenly became tense as Jax and Tara met eyes.

"It's their tenth anniversary Jax. I can't miss it. It's been on my schedule for months." Tara tried to explain as she put her hands in the pockets of her coat. "But I am sure we can stop by before the party. I want to see Hanna before we head off."

"Of course sweetheart I am sure she would love that." Gemma had a few of the girls watching the baby back at Jax's place while they prepared the party.

"I am going to go change. It was nice to meet all of you. Good luck with the baby." Aaron excused himself as quickly as possible.

"I should go change. Bye Abel." She lightly grabbed a hand from the baby and gave him a soft smile. "I better not see you in here anytime soon."

"I wouldn't count on it Doc." Gemma popped in as smile at the exchange between the two of them. The junky would never be able to compete with Tara. She had Jax's heart, something that Wendy always sought after.

"That is always good to hear." She looked up at Jax giving him a small wink and headed off towards the locker room where she had her dress for the night hanging. "Bye Jax."

The party was in full swing by the time the driver Aaron had hired pulled up to the curb. He seemed a little uneasy as he watched a few of the club members walk through the front door. "I won't take long."

"Are you sure because I can come in if you want?" He offered but his eyes told her that he was doing it out of protectiveness of her.

"I will just be a few minutes. I am just going to say goodnight to Hanna and be right out." She hadn't seen her daughter all day and had the need to hold her in her own arms even if it was only for a few moments.

Getting out of the car she shut the door smoothed out her dress. The over layer of black lace gave it a sophisticated look while the tightness of the cream fabric made sure that her curves were shown off. She felt sexy and that was something she hasn't felt since having Hanna. Her body changed and she was happy to see that most of the weight gain had disappeared over the past ten months.

"Hot damn Doc, I wouldn't mind getting some treatment from you." Tig was the first to notice her and as usual his comment only made her laugh.

"Sorry I keep a very professional bedside manner." Tara giggled as she continued on in the house. Donna was next and seemed happy.

"You are glowing." Tara whispered in her ear as she put her arms around her shoulders. "Did you and Opie figure everything out?"

"Yeah we both decided that Charming is home." Donna replied as she gave another smile.

"There is something about this place. Seems to always pull people back in." With a huge smile on her face she continued her path but stopped short when she saw Gemma holding Abel in her arms while Wendy was hovering like a dog waiting for a treat.

"Hey sweetheart." Gemma's smile was wide as she saw what she was wearing and how all eyes were on her.

"Hey Gem, where is Hanna?"

"In the kitchen, Jax is feeding her." Tara only smiled as she walked past the pair.

"A little dressed up don't you think Doc?" Wendy snapped as Gemma shot her look but Tara didn't reply. It wasn't worth the fight with her.

A smile came to her face however when she saw the sweet interaction between father and daughter. With baby food all over her face, Hanna looked pleased with herself and Jax seemed to enjoy his daughter's determination. "I can't wait till you can eat solid food. Then I can introduce you to the good stuff. This shit is disgusting."

"You know when she starts talking you will need to watch what you say. We don't need her going into preschool with vocabulary worse than a truck driver." Jax's head shot up as he caught sight of her and couldn't wipe that shit eating smirk off his face.

"No that just means our kid is badass." Tara smiled but made sure to dramatically roll her eyes at his comment. "I gotta say if there weren't a shit load of people around I would take you to the room and take you out of that dress."

"Ah but what would we do about your mom and wife." He visibly flinched at the idea of Wendy still being technically married to him.

"I would just lock them out." His reply was weak and both could feel the uneasiness radiating from him.

"Too bad they have a key." Tara commented while wiping Hanna's face of the food before pulling her out of the chair and into her arms.

"So is the surgeon too scared to be in the outlaw's house?" His sarcasm was evident as he glanced out the window where something was not like the others. The black Mercedes looked lost in the sea of bikes and muscle cars. His face turned to a glare as he could see him through the back window on his phone.

"No I told him to wait in the car. I just wanted to be with Hanna for a minute before I have to go to this party." She buried her face in Hanna's neck taking in the smell of her daughter. Besides the scent that was uniquely Jax, Hanna's baby lotion was the most calming smell to her. It instantly took her to a more soothing place.

"How boring is it going to be?" He asked as he leaned against the counter watching the two interact.

"Honestly I will probably only go for an hour. Today has been a long day." Hanna was smiling as she played with Tara's earring that was dangling against her neck.

"Why don't you come back here and hang out?" Jax knew that the party wouldn't settle down until pass midnight and that gave her plenty of time to return.

"I think Gemma and Wendy would like to have you all to themselves tonight. Besides I think two mothers are just enough for one baby." Her smile was forced as she tried to cover how she felt. "But I will come pick her up later."

"Okay that just means I get to kiss you goodnight then." Jax smiled as he gave her a small peck on the lips before taking Hanna out of her arms again. "Go we don't want to keep lover boy waiting."

"Don't be jealous, at least he is not staying the night." Her voice was light as she answered his sarcasm with her own but both knew that both of them were dancing on a very dangerous line. "I am going to go but I will be by later."

"Be safe." Living this life taught Jax one thing.

Tara was silent as she slipped out the front. Most of the members were respectful and said their farewells but there was hesitation. Tara was officially Jax's old lady but Wendy was Abel's mother.

Tara was there for an entire hour before she convinced her mom that she was exhausted and needed to get Hanna. Both of them had a reason for going to this party. Aaron was a bachelor but his parents wanted him to settle down. Taking Tara to the party had been a set up by their mothers in hopes that the two of them would fall madly in love. He knew that Jax had her heart and she knew that she wasn't his type. The car was turning right into Main Street when she saw Opie's truck with Donna sitting in the front seat.

"Donna!" Tara yelled as she told the driver to a top the car. Donna and she caught eye contact as Donna leaned forward to roll the window down and the shot were fired.

Tara didn't even think twice. She ran towards the car immediately as she saw a bit of blood on the window. "Donna!"

Opening the door she could see a red flower blooming against her collar. Only one bullet hit her but by the look of the blood flowing from the wound she could tell that it hit an artery. "Aaron!"

He was running around the side of the car when we both heard another car drive off. It was a black Range Rover. Aaron was quick and wrapped his jacket over Donna as Tara found the puncture of the vessel and placed her hands against it successfully stopping the flow. "You are going to have to carry her. I will make sure the hole stays covered."

Together they were able to get Donna in the car without her losing any more blood. She was pale but awake. "I need you to stay awake okay. Tell me a story."

"I don't know any stories." Her voice was weak as her eyes started to droop.

"Tell me about Kenny and bikes. Does he know how to ride one?" Her voice was panic as the driver started the engine. With one hand busy she was able to get her cell out of her bag and tossed to Aaron in the front. "Call Opie tell him to be at the emergency room now."

"Tell Opie I love him." Her voice shook again as she took a breath of air.

"You can tell him yourself. Are you allergic to anything?" Tara silently hoped that this question would keep her brain awake until the got to the hospital.

"No I am not." She was still fighting and that was all Tara could ask for. Minutes that felt like hours passed as they pulled up to the front of the emergency room. Aaron had her in his arms in moments and Tara climbed out also keeping pressure until someone could take over.

In a flash Donna was on a gurney and heading off into the emergency surgery with Aaron following at a fast pace. He would be the one performing on her and that meant she would make it. Aaron would do anything to make sure that Donna came through. She stopped in the middle of the hallway and realized what had happened. An Old Lady had almost been killed tonight. Fear crept into her as she realized what it meant.

"Tara!" Opie's voice broke her out of her stream of consciousness as she looked at both her and the other members who seem to be following behind. "What happened?"

"I don't know. We saw each other and then gun fire." Her hands were shaking as well as her voice as she looked into his eyes.

"Is she okay? Is Donna okay?" His voice rose as he looked around the room.

"A bullet hit her carotid artery. We were able to stop the blood loss but she still bled pretty badly. Dr. Ramsey is in surgery with her right now. I will come out when I hear anything." Tara wanted to comfort him but she had his wife's blood all over her and she didn't want to touch him. "I am going to go but I promise as soon as there is anything I will be out."

"Thank you so much Doc." Opie said as she only nodded and headed back towards the halls when she took one more glance back and saw Wendy and Jax entered the emergency room. Both of them looked panic but Tara said nothing. She took a moment as Jax looked her over before continuing her journey to the locker room.

This was something she could never prepare herself. Being a surgeon meant that blood never touched her. Her gloves and scrubs were a barrier. Touching someone's blood was too intimate. It brought relativity into the situation. It gave the patient a life when you feel the warmth seep into the pores of your skin. Watching the blood turn brown on your skin made Tara's skin crawl.

Her skin was raw and pink as she stepped out if the shower feeling clean. A fresh pair of scrubs and her sneakers was a welcome sight as she changed and sat down on a gurney to wait. Time passed as Tara's heart nearly sunk into her stomach multiple times as she heard the machines started to beep in alarm but when a nurse exited the room she had only a smile on her face as she said, "We fixed the artery and have given a transfusion. She will make it. It will be a long recovery but she is out of the woods. Dr. Ramsey is closing everything up but he said you would be the one to be taking to the family. "

"Thank you!" Tara said as she let her head drop in her hands as the nurse headed back into the operating room as Tara calmed herself down enough to speak.

Heading out to the waiting room she was able to find them easily. Black leather and boots were heard to miss. All heads turned to her as Opie blocked their view her large frame as he stepped in front of her. "How bad is it?"

"Dr. Ramsey was able to fix the artery. We gave her a blood transfusion to replace how much she lost but everything seems to point to a full recovery." She could feel the smile grow as she was quickly pulled into a bone crushing hug as Opie laughed through the tears that were escaping his eyes.

"Thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done if she was gone." She let him continue to embrace her as she felt herself relax. Seeing his happiness made her believe that Donna would make it.

"She is going to be in the ICU for a few days. You can go back once they have her all settled but no one else. I am sorry but those are the rules." Opie has released her and she looked at the rest of the group hoping that they wouldn't press.

"Of course Doc. Once Opie goes back we will head back. Thanks for all of this." Gemma offered as she gave her a smile full of warmth.

"It was nothing she's family." Her words were filled with love as she looked at Opie who had a smile on his face.

"Can I talk to you?" Jax asked as Piney hugged Opie.

"Yeah what's up?"

"I think you should crash at my house. I can have Wendy sleep at the clubhouse." His offer was sincere as he glanced back at Wendy who was talking with another Old Lady who had shown up.

"It's okay Jax. I talked with Gemma she is going to take Hanna for the night. Abel deserves to have both of his parents with him. I am going to stay and make sure Donna is okay since I am on call anyway." She was not going to be the reason why he kicked Wendy out tonight.

"I would feel better if you were with me just in case they are going after Old Lady's." Hearing him call her an Old Lady was nice but she could see Wendy clearly over his shoulder and that was the best reminder she could have about the truth.

Before she could respond, her pager started to ring in the air. A gurney was being pushed through the emergency with a small infant in the middle of a large gurney. "Dr. Knowles!"

"I have to go." Tara immediately ran over and started to assess the situation. "What is wrong."

"Infant sixteen days old, in full cardiac arrest." Tara stopped the gurney so she could get a clear sound of the chest to see if the baby was breathing at all on its own. "Does the mother know what happened?"

"Mother was a junkie, shooting up crank the whole time." Tara couldn't help herself. She immediately looked up and saw that the whole entire group was looking at her as she swept across Wendy who seemed upset at the comment.

"I am going to need to intubate." A nurse overheard her commands and handed her the intubation tool to guide her into the baby's lungs. She had to be calm and precise as she guided the breathing tube into the infant's lungs to assist in his breathing. "I am in. Get him hooked up and page Dr. Nameed, we are going to have to get him prepared as quickly as possible or else we are going to lose him."

She never looked back. There was no reason to. This was her job and that meant when she was on shift, she wasn't a part of SAMCRO anymore. She was a doctor and that meant leaving the problems of the club behind to make sure that every patient is given a chance. This baby deserved her attention. Jax may have wanted her but that baby needed her.

Tara's eyes were still open as the light crept over the hills. Light filtered through the hospital as her final hour of shift dwindled down to nothing. Gemma had taken Hanna back at her place while Jax and Wendy played house together. She didn't even say anything as she glanced at her phone seeing a few messages left for her from Jax but she was too tired to deal with his problems.

"Well there is my favorite patient…" Tara drew out as she walked into the ICU where Donna was wide awake. "…Where's Opie?"

"I sent him home to take care of the kids." Donna replied with a smile on her face.

"Good, now how are you feeling?" Tara asked as she took a seat in the chair next to the bed.

"Sore and weak but overall better. I am happy you stopped by I wanted to say thank you for everything you did for me. Opie told me all about how you were there and made sure I was okay. Spent the whole night here." Donna paused as tears flooded her eyes but her mouth opened again saying, "I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there."

"You don't have to figure it out. Just make sure you get all healed up. If you want to talk just call." Tara understood how this could affect Donna later on. Everyone knew that Opie was the intended target. No one really knew who but all the witnesses had seen a black Range Rover flee the scene.

"Thank you so much." Donna could only thank her again before feeling the drugs flood her system as a nurse came in and administered the dosage into her IV.

"Sleep it will help." Tara stated as she patted her hand and walked out of the room. Changing as quickly as possible she headed straight to her car but was stopped when she saw Wendy sitting in a waiting room for her.

"We need to talk." She demanded as Tara looked around trying to see if anyone else was with her.

"Where's Jax?" Her words came out as she realized what was happening.

"At home with the baby. I wanted to talk with you." Her voice was demanding as she continued to try and stare Tara down. "Is there somewhere we can talk?"

"Yeah." Tara paused before pointing for her to follow where there was an empty waiting room."What did you want to talk about."

"I want you to let Jax go." Her answer almost shocked Tara as she looked at Wendy with so much confusion. "I need for you to let me have a chance. I want to make my marriage work but I can't when you are around."

"Jax is Hanna's father, I am not going to take her away from him." She was a little surprised at her own answer. That was where her mind immediately went at a demand like that.

"I know but we share a son. That is something completely different. My son will run that club someday and Hanna will have the world at her feet. She can live without a father, but Abel needs his father and he deserves to have a family." Wendy didn't even hesitate. She was serious.

"Do you hear what you are saying…"

"Jax and I talked this morning. He said that we couldn't be a family because of you. That he would only be hurting me." Her voice started to rise in volume as Tara saw the wild in her eyes. "I need him in my life. I am finally getting my life in order and I just want you to realize that Jax and you will never work."

"Why do you say that? These past few months have been just fine." Tara's arms crossed over her chest in a defensive manner.

"He left you for a reason. I mean one weekend together had him running back to me. He didn't even mention you until you came back to town with a baby." Tara was immediately offended as she clenched her fists fighting the urge to slam her face into the nearest surface.

"Her name is Hanna and you might want to remember who helped you these past few days. I was the one who let you in against protocol, so you could feed your son." Wendy was unphased by her words.

"I understand that and I appreciate it but you have to remember that I am sober now. Abel has been through so much, he deserves to be happy and that is with Jax and I." Wendy sounded completely mad.

"You do realize that you are the reason for those complications. I was the one who was there for him. I was there the moment he was born. I spent time figuring out what surgery he should have. I watched him as he fought for his life while you were in rehab. What makes you think that you can come here and tell me I need to stay away from Jax and Abel when you don't deserve it!" Her steadiness was gone. Tara didn't care any more. All the emotions she had bottled up through the past few days were out. She finally told Wendy how she felt. "I have been kind to you. I made sure that you were given the benefit of the doubt but in the end you have shown me why it never worked between Jax and you."

"Why is that?" Wendy interrupted with attitude as she spat the words back at Tara.

"Jax will always feel sorry for you. He has taken your addiction as if it is his fault and we both know that isn't true. When he came to visit in Chicago that weekend he told me he wished he could stay but he knew if he didn't go back that you would kill yourself. I gave him up. I didn't fight for him because you were married. I didn't want you to go through what I did with my past relationship but you aren't together. He has let go of you and I think it is time for you to do the same." That was it. Tara didn't even hesitate as she walked directly past Wendy and straight out to her car. Jax's number flashed across her screen but she didn't answer. It wasn't the right time for that conversation.

When she got home there was a peacefulness to the house. The calm felt nice for a change. Hanna right now was probably being picked up by her parents for the day and she would be free for a few hours to sleep but of course that never got to happen. A pounding at the door quickly changed that feeling of refreshment.

"What are you doing here?" Tara asked as she looked at Jax would seemed pissed and upset over something.

"I have been calling your cell for four hours. Where the fuck have you been?" Jax was twitchy as he looked her up and down.

"I worked a thirty six hour shift. I was sleeping." Tara shot back as she rubbed the exhaustion from her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"You shouldn't be by yourself. We don't know what the fuck happened and who did it." Jax replied as he stepped over the threshold and inserted himself into the room.

"Wendy is more endangered than me. I mean she is your wife." The earlier meeting was still fresh in her mind and there was a bit of anger still fluttering in her blood.

"You are my Old Lady." Jax's voice soften when he saw the hurt pass through her eyes but she didn't let that stop her from saying the truth.

"Doesn't mean shit when you are still married." Her mind went back to memory of the crow on her back. Did that mean anything anymore.

"In a month and half that is over." His words were meant to be reassuring but there was still a chance that Wendy could take a hold of him ago. He had left her once before.

"There is something about her that keeps you around." Tara stated as her mind was thinking rationally for the first time in the past few weeks. "You have gone back to her in the past. What says that you won't this time?"

"I am done with Wendy." Jax was frustrated because she wasn't accepting what he was saying was fact but to Tara it wasn't. It was only words that had not been proven to her.

"She isn't done with you!" Her emotions took over and Tara finally let go. "She came to talk today. She demanded that I give you up so you could be a family. Said that Abel deserved to have both his mother and father together. Do you know how that made me feel. Hanna wasn't even a consideration in her plan. Is that how you feel, that Abel is more important?"

Jax stood there silent for a moment. She was huffing as she tried to reign in the emotions that had been released but what she said was true. Abel would always be seen as different from Hanna but she never thought before today that Jax would love her differently.

"Hanna will always be the same as Abel to me. It doesn't matter who the mother is or what they went through neither one will ever be loved less than the other. I would never leave Hanna and you to be with Wendy. She asked me earlier to give her a chance and I said no. We did it before but I can't feel guilty anymore. She chose her life and we weren't meant together. It was always you. The fact that you helped with Abel no matter what tells me that I don't even deserve you. Wendy is leaving tonight. If she wants to be apart of Abel's life then she is going to need to prove that to me but I am not up for grabs. You are the only one." Tara froze at his words. She wanted to believe them to prove to me that she can but I am out. I am not on the table. Abel has only known Gemma and you to be the women in his life." Jax was trying desperately but at the moment Tara couldn't do it anymore. She needed a break.

"You are still married. I will always have a piece of you in Hanna but I won't share. I am done sharing. I want a commitment and that is one thing you can't give me right now." Tara didn't even wait, all she did was slowly push him out of the house and shut the door in his face. She didn't need him. She wanted him and that was what made Tara different than anyone else.

Dialing the number she knew too well, she waited until she heard a comforting voice on the other line. She was quick to ask. "Can you bring Hanna over?"

"Yeah of course I will be there in a few minutes." Becca replied as Tara sat down on the couch and waited as the tears fell.

"Thanks." Her voice was soft as she closed her phone and listened to the sound of the motorcycle drift off into the distance and whispered, "I'm done."

The next few days, Tara decided to hold herself up in her mother's house. She was falling into the same hole that she did when she first left Charming ten years earlier. What she had been devastated by the miscarriage that no one knew about. It was one of the things that sent her packing down in San Diego. She was depressed that her body rejected the child Jax and she made together but she also hated the fact that she was relieved. A weight had lifted off her shoulder the minute she saw the blood. Her self hate soon took over and that was the same feeling she had flowing through her body at the moment. Pushing him away was something she wanted avoided but she knew the truth. Jax would never let her back in fully. His instincts told him that she would run and that was something that she couldn't live with anymore. Wendy was an easy target for him to latch on. All she hoped was that by pushing him away she could finally let go and see that he wasn't meant to be hers. Their fate was to create Hanna. That was all.

"Tara you need to get out of bed." Diane requested as she opened the door with a smiling Hanna in her arms. "There is someone down stairs that needs to talk to you."

"If it's Jax, I don't want to talk to him. I need space." To let him go, was all she could think of.

"Get out of bed or I will have Sam carry you out. of here." Diane wasn't taking any shit for her daughter. She needed to get her ass up and fix her own shit.

"Fine." Tara groaned as she rolled off the bed and took Hanna. "Do you want to go see who it is?"

Baby gurgles were the only reply as she headed down the stairs where there was no one. "Mom where are they?"

"Outside?" Diane called from upstairs. Tara was confused by the comment as she headed towards the front door and opened it. "What are you doing here?"

Jax turned around to face her with a smiling Abel in his arms. With a smile on his face as he said nothing but handed over a piece of paper while grabbing Hanna from her arms cradling his daughter on the opposite hand as his son.

"What does this mean?" Tara asked as she looked over the paperwork not understanding exactly what it meant to her.

"I talked with Adele and she was able to get Wendy's lawyer to convince her to sign it. Officially it means that Wendy is no longer my wife and also she signed over her rights to Abel." The only sound after Jax's explanation was Hanna as she played with the silver bullet that hung around his neck.

"Jax this doesn't change anything." She felt uncomfortable at idea that he thought ending his marriage would change anything.

"I know and it's not just this. Tara…" He paused while fixing Hanna so she was in a comfortable position and handing Abel over to her he then got down on one knee while producing a gorgeous ring that had just enough diamond to make her smile. "...I want you to be my wife. I need you to be my wife, not just my Old Lady, but my true wife."

"Jax…"Hearing those words were hitting somewhere deep inside her. Seeing him holding Hanna and feeling Abel kick against her hold so that he could grab the hair falling loose from her bun.

"Just say yes Tara. I want you to be the mother to my son, the same way you are to my daughter. I need you there or I will not make it. You are the good in my world." His words were deep and sensual as Tara could tell that he was serious. This is what he wanted.

"Yes." Jax smiled as he slid the ring on her finger and pulled her against him so that he could give a kiss she deserved.


End file.
